Working Hard

Making a new base is harder than I remember it being.

Still, it's going well. As cool as the old base was, I'm loving how this is turning out. The old place had some problems, what with being originally designed to be a temporary workstation.

Also, I'll be able to get internet too, which is awesome.

Today, however, I mostly rested, watched tv, and played Hypno Bubble. I'm going to need the rest, too, because tomorrow I start Deirdre-proofing the place. That's going to be a bitch. It's bad enough my lair has to be toddler-proofed, but this kid is part god. You'd think that'd make it easier, but trying to prevent a kid from choking on small objects is pretty hard when she can crush larger objects into asphyxiation-sized chunks with her bare hands.

In other news, Judy keeps trying to contact me. She still says she had our kid, presumably cloned by mixing my cells and her cells. Though, I know I came to this conclusion myself, but the more I think about it the more it bothers me. Judy's a physicist and an engineer. As far as I know, she's got no experience with cloning tech. But I've seen pictures and, well, there's family resemblance, iincluding the telltale flame red hair. I'm not sure what to do. If I ignore the kid...even though I didn't have any part in making her, does that make me a deadbeat?

Also, my god Sinapse is annoying. I mean, I thought that vampire, Sanguinous, was the most annoying of Quizzer's enemies but, nope. It's like he read a book on how to be the most stereotypical megalomaniac he can be. He's treacherous, he's conceited, he's greedy, and, worst of all, his goal is to, of course, take over the world.

Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with villains that want to conquer to the world, but it's just not a realistic goal. Not for one person, not even for one country. When you get right down to it, the planet's too big and it has too many people on it.

Also, I've always thought telepathy/mind control was a creepy power, especially in the hands of a villain. I mean...think about it.

Oh well, now I'm ranting. Back to hypno-bubble.

Thursday is the New Wednesday

Okay okay okay, I'm a bit late. But hey, it's probably still wednesday somewhere. This would be a lot easier if I lived on Venus.

Anyway, not much going on Siluriformes attacked the city again, Quizzer held them off, Sinapse tried to make a deal with them and help them, blah blah blah good guy won, loser and fish-losers lost.

I got a phone call from Captain Visigoth. Sounded like he was in a Mexican bar. Never once asked about "his" kid. Good. She's my daughter now.

I guess this is what Mechanor was talking about last year. Deirdre becoming my daughter. I hope it wasn't talking about what Judy said.

You know, back in December when I was emo and Lock and Load took over the blog. Judy wanted to talk to me about something? Well...she wanted me back. She also said she was pregnant, which I called BS on. I mean, we hadn't slept together since before she was put into the coma. Unless she had the gestation period of an elephant, it couldn't have been mine, and, plus, she didn't look pregnant.

I mean, she would have had to have taken a sample while I was sleeping or cloned a kid by mixing my DNA with hers, but she would...

...oh wait, she's a super villain.

Fuck.

Blah

Judy wants to talk to me about something. She's left like five apologetic-sounding voicemails. Blah. I don't have anything to say to her. She threw me out of my own aerial base! That's kind of a deal-breaker. Let 'Scarab' do whatever the hell she wants.

Hex agrees with me that nothing but trouble can come of this. Bruiser thinks that I'm being too harsh and maybe she still had some leftover demon mojo screwing around with her head when she did that.

....blah. Maybe I will go talk with her. But I'm bringing my armor. I may be a chump but I'm not stupid.

Eww

So, watching Red eat a siluriforme--actually pretty gross. It was like a cross between Shark Week and Hannibal Lector. No fava beans or chiati, though.

Judy's wrecking downtown and demanding rematch with Quizzer. Girl does not like to lose. I think I'm going to make some popcorn and watch her get trounced. 'Cause, I mean, even if he doesn't have that power boost like he had before, don't think Scarab knew that Quizzer's girlfriend's in town. AKA, Miss Atom.

Oh right, that Cruise Ship thing. Basically, there were two traps--one for Arsenal, and one for yours truly. Because the Arsenal's made of that funky alien metal, and my old boss was, first, a metallurgist, they figured I could use my knowledge and tech to help them catch him--whether I wanted to or not. God Agent Spider is a dick. And because I am also a dick, I refused to cooperate--because, let's face it, soldiers and high tech gizmos aside, there's not much they could've done to keep me there--unless Quizzer was brought on board too. Because if I'm going to be suffering, he's going to be suffering too.

They actually refused my first couple ideas, because like typical goody-two-shoes, they actually wanted to capture the psychopath for rehabilitation. I mean, this is the guy who tried to convert part of his mass into an atomic bomb so he could nuke the Tower, just to get at Snake Eyes. He would've killed hundreds of thousands, most of those innocents, if he'd succeeded.

It went about as well as you'd expect. The Arsenal showed up, ready to cause amounts of property damage even I find excessive in order to get his revenge, my trap goes off and Spider completely screws it up. We all--except Quizzer--get blasted. Quizzer manages to talk the Arsenal down from his rampage and be the big hero. I hit Arsenal when his back is turned because, unlike the Blue Q and Spider, I have enough forsight to know that you don't capture a rapid dog, you put it down.

Then the pain started.

Turns out the Arsenal's armored skin's a bit tougher than I thought it'd be. Of course, I'm in duranium armor and nearly indestructable, so you can imagine the sort of fight the two of us have. I think in the end I roughed him up pretty good, but he did the same thing to me. Eventually, Quizzer took his side and I emergency teleported out of there.

Not sure what happened next but the carnage stopped, so I'm guessing the three heroes came to some accord. Well, two heroes and Arsenal, at any rate. Twenty bucks says this bites Spider in the butt. The worst part is I didn't even get anything out of it save the chance to shoot an antihero in the back. None of the "high profile cargo" were who the logs said they were--all of them were soldiers in costumes and makeup. Rip-off.

From the Cargo Hold

Hey guys, this post coming in while I'm on board the ship. Snuck into the cargo hold, and I'm just checking to see if I can find any clues here. Also going over the passenger manifest. I would just take over the ship, but now I'm curious enough that I want to see who the big trap is for. And if it's for someone I don't like, I'd love to see it succeed. Can't get in the way of, say, a Judy trap. Or "Lord" Grim for that matter.

So far not much on either front. Passenger list is a bunch of bigwigs but no one major so far. Only thing I could think of would be someone in general with a problem with Arkady or Brannigan, or any number of other companies. I think there might be a couple Aimwrights on board. They're rich and all, but I can't think of anyone with a grudge against them specifically.

Oh, and I know that two-timing bastard's name. Oh, it's on now.

Holy crap. Rose Collins is on the ship. As in, Barb. What's the most famous corporate spy in the world doing, openly, on a cruise ship? More importantly, does she have her super villain gear with her? If it were a trap for here, she would be here under an alias, unless she knows it's a trap and is trying to flaunt it. But that doesn't make sense either. Spider would've made a move by now.

This cargo is really boring. I've done a few scans of the weapon lockers I can fine, and it's high-caliber stuff, but nothing exciting. A lot of e.m.p.s and armor-piercing bullets. Which makes me suspicious it's a trap for me, but something still doesn't add up.

That Barb's here is really bothering me. Barb plus Aimwrights along with corporate executives worth billions--if not trillions, on an unseasonable trip in an unfashionable area. The ship alone is worth an ungodly amount, even if it was stripped before being sold to a private collector.

Holy crap, how did I miss this on the security cameras? Conner Ferrian, Junior, AKA CJ, AKA my brother, Overdose. I haven't seem him anywhere but his name's on the roster. Maybe he comes later? Maybe he spirngs the trap from above or something?

Okay, let's think. Who's a super villain in the nearby area? I guess if you ignore the great lakes, Snake Eyes isn't too far. But this isn't his style. I mean, the closest major hub is Anarchy Groves in Penn. But this really isn't any of Scarlet Sorceress's villains' style.

Oh crap. I've been thinking about this all wrong. This isn't a trap for a villain. It's a trap for an anti-hero.

Snake Eyes used to be an Aimwright. Or, more accurately, he still is, but publically the family's disowned him. Privately I heard CJ mention everything's hugs and kisses with the relations behind closed doors. Yep, you want the inside scoop, go to a henchman, that's what I've learned. Apparently, the Arsenal suspects this is the case, and he's been breathing down the necks of the Aimwrights trying to get to Snake Eyes. And Barb's tusseled with the Arsenal more than she has with "other" heroes. Hell, she and CJ and the Aimwrights might not even be on the ship in the first place--even if they might have announced their presence earlier or something.

Snake Eyes must've made a deal with Agent Spider to catch his "Menace to Society" arch-nemesis. I mean, everyone knows Spider and the Arsenal don't get along.

So they're trying to catch the Arsenal. Hell. I'm gonna sit this one out. And fortify my base. Because if Arsenal starts fighting, there's going to be a whole lot of destruction. I'll probably call Quizzer and tell him what's going on. Most destructive "hero" ever starts fighting near the city you've sworn to protect, you're probably gonna want a head's up, after all. Plus, it'll be fun to watch him get tossed around if he tries to intervene.

Wait. Why have so many important people on a boat if they're just going to be part of the bait for someone like oh hey when did I get surrounded by soldiers I gotta go.

Hmph

This guy so doesn't deserve his wife. Hell, he doesn't even deserve the other woman.

As far as I can tell his wife is a saint. She's gorgeous and bends over backwards for the guy, does everything for her, and he still goes off to the other woman. Not only that, but he tells his mistress all sorts of stories about how draconian his wife is. From what I can see, they're one hundred percent false. I really hate people. You give your all for them and what do they do? Stab you in the back first chance they get, that's what.

I mean, I stayed by Judy's side every chance I got. I gave her my freaking pardon! And she betrayed me like the minute she got out of that coma. She was probably thinking about the backstab even before she even got in that accident. Yeah, accident. Screw you, people who insinuate I hit her on purpose. I swear, wouldn't be surprised if you're all accounts made by "Lord" Grim.

Oh, uh, the heist. Right. The whole reason I'm down here. Not yet in progress. Don't give me that look. Something fishy's going on. I passed a Siluriforme shuttle checking out the ship yesterday, and they seemed as clueless as I am. It's obviously a trap for someone--even the incompetent fishmen could see that, and I can't help but to remember the old adage--if you don't know who the sucker is, it's probably you.

More later. And when I get my heist underway, this two-timer's walking the plank.

Deirdre

So, Deirdre.

Well, not long after the whole explosive breakup with Judy, Dina and I were settling back into the base when she goes into labor. And, since the father, my "good friend" Captain Visigoth is god only knows where, I had to take the pregnant half-jöttun to the hospital. Let me tell you, they are going to be repairing that maternity ward for a while. I mean, she was in labor for twevle hours at least, and every time she thrashed or kicked with that super strength of hers behind it, something blew up.

At some point I got so tired even the sounds of her destroying the hospital started to lull me to sleep, so I dozed off in like the only remaining chair around.

Now, some of you might be thinking: why didn't you go in there and hold her hand or something? What kind of gentleman are you? Answer: The kind that enjoys having non-broken bones. She's not my wife, I'm not going to put myself in intensive care for her. It kind of feels good to be able to say that without Judy punching me.

Anyway, when I woke up, the doctors were trying to hand me what I could only assume was Dina's baby, saying congratulations in the tone one uses when a gun is pointed at them.

The conversation went something like this:

"I'm not the father."

"The mother threatened us unless we processed her signing over custody to you."

"WTF"

"Sorry man."

In essence, Dina decided she didn't really want a kid either, so she didn't even bother naming her daughter before skipping town. Turns out if your mom's a frost giant, having a kid doesn't slow you down much. So Dina used the only tool she knows--brute force--and got her daughter adopted by me while I was asleep and then took off, probably to try to find her errant husband.

In hindsight, I should have expected something like this after she asked what my signature was like.

So, I named her Deirdre Elizabeth Ferrian, after my grandmother and sister. And because I am both a tool and a doormat, she's now my kid.

Yep, I am now raising a baby that's half Germanic Demigod and a quarter Frost Giant.

I am not looking forward to the Terrible Twos.

But, I mean, it's been alright so far. Sure, she cries a lot but there's a seventy-thirty chance I'm awake anyway at any given time working on something anyway. And she's cute--I can already tell she'll be better looking than either of her parents when she grows up.

And woe to any boy who tries to take advantage of her. I'm already gearing up and excited for when I can threaten people when she's a teenager.

Anyway, I got a couple evil plans cooking up, more on that later.

THIS IS WHY YOU STAY SINGLE PEOPLE

Oh my god.

I am so angry right now.

I loved this plan. It was going so well. The heroes couldn't do jack without blood on their hands. All Judy had to do was say she wanted in on it and I would've shared.

Instead, she kicks me out! Dina too! She kicked her pregnant friend out. Lousy June Bug--Excuse me, Scarab.

Yes, that's Judy under the bulky spiky black armor. Apparently, what she 'brought back' wasn't a demon or an interdimensional parasite or anything like that. It was knowledge. And a major attitude problem. Locking me out of my own base. Commandeering my TrEyeumvirate. Beating the tar out of my nemesis.

You know what? She doesn't wanna be a team player? She wants to take everything from the guy who sat beside her bed for months wating for her to wake up? Well, two can play at this game. Yeah, she has my tech, my gear, better equipment, and a much higher IQ than me. Yeah, that angry Scarab armor can kick my ass even armored up. But I have one thing she doesn't.

Backup.

Time to give P.A.I.N. a trial by fire.

Tri-City Takeover

Oh god I love this plan.

So, as of yesterday, there is an aerial battleship over New Vineyard, and one over Chicago, and one over Detroit. Two are unmanned, and I'm in one of them. If anything happens to any of the ships, the other two start firing. I'm holding three cities for ransom simultaneously! How cool is that?

So far no hero has come forward to challenge me, since millions of lives are at stake here. But Quizzer and Speed Demon sure are fuming impotently at the ships, that much is for certain. I call the battleships my TrEyeumvirate.

I have a couple tons of precious metals at the moment, and more on the way.

Though, to be honest, I'm not enjoying this as much as I should be.

Some time yesterday, Judy came out of the lab (and took a shower, thank god), and said she was going "out" to test out something called "Scarab". I haven't seen her since. However, I have been watching the news. Brannigan's tower, the one in downtown that was built around that portal, has imploded. No sign of explosives or the portal opening, which means it was hit by some kind of gravity bomb--as in, a bomb that released a massive pulse of condensed gravitational flucuations. There's only one person who can do that.

But what is Scarab?

Sorry Guys

So, I bet you're all wondering where I've been. Well, Judy and I have pretty much non-stop been making our new armors. And mine's, finally, done.

We haven't really been doing it together, though. Judy's kinda sequestered herself away in a private workshop and she's been working without breaks as far as I can tell. But whenever I knock she says she's fine, so I guess she's fine. Room's not airtight and it's starting to smell, though. She should probably take a break for a shower or to throw out those old Cup Noodle bowls or something.

You know, this is actually pretty good timing. Quizzer's had his hands full, what with Siluriformes and Nuke and Mechanor and that new girl Foundress (need to get in contact with her, but yellow jackets kind of freak me out.) as well as finals to really have the energy to deal with me. And since the Government finall shut down that Brannigan lab with the demon portal in it before they could remove stuff...I think it's time to go on a five finger discount shopping spree.

And I know for a fact Quizzer was up late last night. Doctor Cataclysm: 1, Quizzer's Twitter: 0

Hex Update

No word from Hex about Judy, besides her saying, "Whenever someone says that after they've been out of it, it can't be good."

Judy's been home, but she's spending most of her time in the workshop, making new armor. She isn't really talking to me and doesn't want me seeing what she's making. Oh well.

The rest P.A.I.N. is coming over to play Mario Kart and stuff tonight. Maybe I'll invite her out for it.

Okay

Something odd's going on.

When I got the news Judy was out of her coma, I rushed right to the hospital. I only paused to send that update to my blog. By the time I arrived, however, Judy had been placed in isolation.

My demands to see her didn't go so well. According to the doctors, after the initial woozy period, Judy started shrieking her head off and panicking. She was strapped down to keep her from hurting herself or pulling something loose while she calmed down. It took hours for her to calm down. When she finally did, I got to see her.

Yes, me, a nearly seven foot tall super-human, was scolded by a middle-aged nurse into not going to see Judy during that time. Shut up.

When I saw her, she was in bed, staring at the window. When I tried to meet her gaze, she turned to face the hall. When I went around the other side of the bed, she faced the window again.

I told her I'd missed her, that I loved her, that I'd been here almost every day since she was hurt.

She didn't speak. There was a long, long silence, until she said, "I brought something back with me."

I didn't get a chance to grill her further, as the nurse chased me out then, saying she should be alone for observation, given her violent reaction.

What does that even mean? Did her soul go somewhere while she was out or something? That's sounds like magic to me, or something like it. Better ask Hex when I get the chance. Hope I can see Judy more soon.

This Can't Be Good

Judy's first words when I saw her were, "I brought something back with me."

More later when this makes more sense.

That Bastard!

"Lord" Grim is trying to start his own supervillain group. He's trying to get the rights to P.A.I.N. before we do. That son of a bitch.

He's just doing this because he doesn't like me. I think Red Water might try to eat him some time over the weekend. Good. Hope he succeeds.

Am I writing that because it's going to happen or just to screw with Grim in case he reads this? That's for me to know and him to find out. Bon appetit, Red.

Besides Lord Annoying, things are going pretty well with the creation of P.A.I.N. They're going pretty well in general, actually, despite the fact that Judy's not up yet--and, even then, she's had a few more mumbled words and half-awake moments in the past few days.

Rakshasa sent me a letter of congratulations. Either that means he's already back in the physical world, or his magic lets him screw with me across dimensional barriers.

Oh, and I managed to salvage quite a few pieces of Siluriforme tech. Some of it will prove useful with armor 3.0. Despite what improvements I make, I might just make it look like 2.0. I liked the look, and no one really expects armor that looks exactly like the old stuff to be that much better. That, and I don't want the pictures of me on CapeWiki to be that much more out of date.

One last bit of news--Brannigan's under investigation for having an unregistered demonic portal in their labs. Haha. Suckers.

And Now, We Return You to Our Regularly Scheduled Programming

So, Siluriformes are attacking the city right now with giant mechanical fishmen. I think I might record this. It's pretty good. I can see Quizzer fighting them from the hospital window. Gotta remember to salvage some of the pieces from the mechafish a bit later. I've been wondering what Siluriforme tech was like.

Judy sorta woke up yesterday. She said a few words and then passed out again. Something like "I hate hospitals". That's supposed to be a good sign. She was at least aware of her surroundings for a few seconds. Doctors are saying she should completely come out of it within the week.

Ouch, that's going to leave a mark. I hope they don't come closer to the hospital, I don't really feel like getting involved. Quizzer can handle this. He's the "big hero" after all.

Oh, by the time I came back? Dina Might's started to redecorate my base. She still can't get ahold of Captain Visigoth--personally, I think he's in Mexico doing body shots off of strippers and kind of in general being himself.

P.A.N.I.C. If You Know What's Good For You, Part 3

Okay okay okay. It's time to finish this. Sorry. Some things have come up.

Very, very interesting things that I'll talk about tomorrow, or maybe after I've finished this (finally).

So, total tally of the manpower we had--assorted second-rate heroes and villains, more third rate heroes and villains, and one of the heavy hitter, all-powerful heroes that was drained of the lion's share of her power, and getting weaker all the time. It was clear we had to act fast, before Double S was drained completely, and it was going to be paramount that we get her book back.

Hex had the reasonably good idea of what little magic type people we had channeling their powers into Scarlet Sorceress. I like Hex--she thinks of things like that. Not every villain there was a complete idiot. I'm glad she's one of the people trying to start the current craziness.

Bah, anyway, plan was simple--our magic type people boost her, the rest keep the demon hordes busy, and help out as we can. In other words, we were going to be on the sidelines during the real fight. A lot of people--mostly heroes, but some villains, didn't really care for this. They seemed to think this was their chance to make a difference, and here they were sitting on the bench during the big fight.

As someone who had personally faced off against Rakshasa's demons, I assured them that we'd be seeing plenty of chances to make a difference.

Chances to make a difference. Yes, I said that. It still makes me feel dirty. I mean, yeah, Rakshasa taking over the world, major league bad thing for everyone except Rakshasa. But my primary motivation in this was not to save the world. It was revenge, pure and simple.

We traveled quickly to D.C., and on the way we picked up a couple more heroes, including Agent Spider, who was looking rather displeased that all this had managed to elude him. When I told Jack Knife that a few weeks ago, he couldn't stop laughing.

We got all the villains we were going to get. Many of those had also, at some point in the past, been betrayed by or had a grudge against Rakshasa. Hex, for instance, used to be a henchman for Warlock. Fun fact--Rakshasa's first body in recent times, it turns out, was a henchman for Warlock. Rakshasa knocked him from an A-list villain to a B- or C-lister before finally killing Warlock about ten years ago.

The new feeds, the videos, from those crazy bastards who decided to sneak into D.C. with a camera when they heard a big fight was going to happen, didn't cover half of how disturbing it was. D.C. is still a class three magical disaster zone. There wasn't an official reading before the fight, but the number scale wouldn't have given it justice.

Hell on Earth was more accurate. The buildings looked like they had tumors. The trees were lashing out at us and I'm positive they had teeth. Dionaea had a really tough time there. She told us "everything was screaming".

I'm sure everyone's seen the picture by now of the White House with that big brambly mouth tree-thing growing out of it, of the throne in the center of it, and of Rakshasa sitting there, Scarlet Sorceress's book in his lap. The clearest picture was taken from my mask's camera.

"Oh, I'm sorry. The Lincoln Bedroom is under renovations." Rakshasa said as he flew forward, the book falling away and hanging from his belt by a chain. "I'm afraid you'll have to rest out here in stead."

Demons started pouring from the woodwork, including one hideous giant, big, lumbering, teeth too big for its mouth, and when it roared its head almost folded in half.

"I'm afraid I'm busy with matters of foreign policy." Rakshasa said with a feral grin. "My vice president, Mr. Shasta, will be more than happy to accommodate you."

"Quizzer?"
"Cataclysm?"
Simultaneous--"You take the big guy."

That fight was not a fun one. Quizzer and I versus the mutated demonic vice president. He was stronger than hell, and way faster than he should have been. I know most press was watching Scarlet Sorceress fight Rakshasa at the time, so no one quite knew what happened in that last fight. Well, we weren't doing so well--Quizzer was pelting him with masonry, I was hitting him with force blasts, plasma fire, but no good. We both got smacked through priceless pieces of our nation's history on more than one occasion, and his claws sliced almost straight through my Duranium armor like it was nothing.

It was my brilliance that saved us. I'm so proud of this. I re-wired my emergency teleporter while Quizzer kept Shasta busy. Then I overloaded it to teleport Shasta into the air above the Washington Monument. And remember, my teleporter isn't designed for normal living people to use it. It couldn't absorb or bleed off any of the energy that was put through his system, so that messed him up pretty bad. And then Quizzer used his powers to pull the demon down faster than he'd normally fall. That was a mess, but hey, I managed to impale the demonic vice president with the Washington Monument. Go me.

Of course, my main power source kind of overloaded then. God that stung. I liked that armor, too. New stuff's coming along alright, though.

Back on topic. We downed Shasta-monster. We were feeling pretty good about ourselves, even though I had to eject my armor. Then we saw the Scarlet Sorceress, Hex, and the rest of the magic-users collapse.

"Oh, it seems I forgot to mention something. I've found a way to siphon power from the book, Sorceress. No only are my soldiers destroying this world, but I have also made myself the magical focus for the entire planet." Rakshasa said, eyes opening up all over him, and his body going amophous for just a moment before he suddenly looked exactly like the Scarlet Sorceress. "My own bane is now my source of power. Really, this was an impressive show of force, but all in vain. I am now a god."

This was cut a bit short when a green, glowing "whip" of energy went around Rakshasa's "neck" and, before he could do anything about it, flung him into and through an exterior wall of what was left of the White House.

And behind him were Lady Anaconda, Death's Head, and their nemeses, Conflagration and Knight Watch.

And I'm sorry, but wow. Lady Anaconda. Woah. Granted, that skimpy green dress doesn't put much to the imagination on purpose, but damn.

Rakshasa didn't stay down for long, though. He was out of the wreckage in his normal form almost immediately after that, tentacles whipping and writhing behind him.

"Oh, a reunion. I hate reunions. Especially old pawns come back to play, drunk on their own self-importance." Rakshasa growled. "But at least you two save me the trouble of tracking you down and killing you myself."

Okay. He's my arch-nemesis, yeah. He dresses goofy, and has a lame name. But Quizzer is the man. He's...it's hard for me to write this, but Quizzer is definitely good. We wouldn't have won, or not won so easy, without him.

Because while Rakshasa was fuming at Lady Anaconda, Quizzer was using his telekinesis to unhook Scarlet Sorceress's book and float it back to her. An eye opened up on his side at a moment too late for Rakshasa to notice in time.

He made the standard villain cry of "NOOOOOOOO!" Then Double S grabbed her book and look ten years younger and a whole lot more energetic. Then Rakshasa melted away into a mass of eyes and tentacles the size of the White House and the real battle started.

I spent most of the fight on the sidelines blasting him. I'll be the first to admit it. Quizzer and I and most of P.A.N.I.C. weren't the main focus of this fight--that was for Scarlet, Anaconda, DH, Con, and KW. But still, I had my moments, like when I opened up a crack in the ground beneath it and caused it to completely miss with an energy blast from its eyes.

We sent him back to Hell. All of us. And there were a lot lost on both sides that day, hero and villain. Mostly the idiots. But still, they gave their lives to save the world. Or at least the US, though I'm pretty sure, with as many open portals as he had, Rakshasa would have been able to take the whole globe. He pretty much had all of north and central America before we stopped him.

With enough of a beating, and a banishing spell, though, his reign of terror was over. Rakshasa gave up the battered and broken body of Jonathan Rake before he fell through the portal back to the demon world, screaming out plans for revenge on all of us all the while. Many of his demons were pulled with him, including some of those funky trees--not the one ganshing at us from the White House, though. Dionaea and Mandragora handled that bastard on their own after things started to wind down.

After that, we wanted to have a big party, but things needed to be put in order first. Clearing out the remaining demons, closing the portals, fixing D.C. We all were supposed to get pardons, but I gave mine to Judy. So she'll be safe in the hospital without having to worry about her waking up and getting carted to jail or St. Toluca's.

And then we did have a big party. Huge, in fact. It was a great time.

And then I came back home to New Vineyard.

Beating Rakshasa didn't save Judy. She's still in a coma. My armor was sundered. My arch-nemesis is hero of the hour.

The world is safe. I had my revenge.

So why does it feel like nothing's really changed?

P.A.N.I.C. If You Know What's Good For You, Part 2

So. Many of you are probably wondering what happened next.

Honestly, I've been having a hard time thinking of how to write it down or put it on "paper". Guess it's writer's block or something. Cut me some slack. I spend most of my day at the hospital waiting for my girlfriend to get out of a coma.

I'll finish it up some time this week. I promise. I just need a bit more time to clear my head and stuff and figure out how I'm going to write up events so chaotic. Even I don't know everything that happened, and I was there.

Eh, while I'm typing I might as well advance the narrative a bit. It'll give me something to do while the chances Judy's ever going to wake up dwindle.

So, knocking on the Scarlet Sorceress's door was pretty much a bust. No one answered, but we--and by we I mean Quizzer and I, as everyone else scattered to try to find more members--noticed that lights were on, car was in driveway, and the door was unlocked. In fact, it wasn't even completely latched.

So, being the only sensible people in P.A.N.I.C, we suited up and cautiously walked inside rather than burst in as was suggested over our cell phones by some of our "colleagues".

I'll spare you the disgusting details of what we found, but suffice it to say that the Sorceress was encased in some demonic booger webbing and being guarded by rather ugly demons that I still feel like throwing up when I remember.

The fight was over pretty quick and no, not in the good way for us. I mean, we won, but just barely, and largely because Quizzer and I, rather than attack the demons, attacked the coccoon. Once free, the Sorceress made quick work of them.

Yes, I was saved by a girl. Shut up.

Well, saved isn't quite the term, because before she could really regain her thoughts she snared us in some weird magic ribbon and demanded to know who we were. Then we explained why we were there and what was going on. I'd like to say we did this calmly and rationally, but no such luck. We were both afraid she was going to nuke us or turn us into rabbits or something. Of course, had we known then she was having trouble with her magic, we would have been a bit calmer.

Apparently, after surprising and incapacitating her, Rakshasa took Scarlet Sorceress's magic book. You know, the one you always see her with? Key to her powers, apparently, which is why she couldn't just break through. Rakshasa didn't kill her because for one, he (eww) seems to have a thing for her and two, apparently if the person who has the book dies it just picks another person.

The Sorceress let us go then, and we brought her back to P.A.N.I.C. (and no, doesn't stand for anything) and then planned our big assault on Rakshasa. That's where, literally, all hell broke loose, I got a little bit of revenge, and this whole thing got tied up, finally.

Except for...

Oh. Look at the date.

I didn't even realize it was Valentines. I didn't even realize it was Febuary.

I had so many plans for Judy and I for Valentines. So many things I wanted to do. So many places I wanted to take her.

Right now, all I want for Valentines is for her to wake up.

Oh. Hey.

I haven't really had time to update. With all that planning the fight and then taking down Rakshasa, I was a bit drained.

I haven't really left Judy's bedside since after the big fight and I haven't been able to concentrate enough for a decent post.

When maybe I'm feeling a bit better, maybe later tonight, I'll write my side of what happened with Rakshasa. It might feel better to get it out.

The Story Thus Far

Judy and I had an argument right before the inauguration. She didn't see what I was so worried about, if there was a truce with Rakshasa.

So she stormed off and I went to follow her. I saw the inauguration like people see important things in movies--from tvs in a store window.

Then there was a big rumbling and I realized that there might've been an alterior motive for Brannigan building this island where it did. Say, maybe there was a transdimensional rift right here. Maybe a few hundred feet in the air. Something like that would be an excellent power source.

Unfortunately, when it opens to Hell, that means when Rakshasa opens up all the portals to Hell, that a monster born from nightmare a couple hundred feet tall and about that wide crashes through it. The Brannigan Building exploded, which caused a lot of damage, but the massive wall of pustulant flesh that oozed from its wreckage that was the real problem.

I caught up with Judy right then, and before either of us could say anything, an eye the size of a mini-mart opened in the center of the oozing thing's mass, centered on us, and fired an eye beam.

I pushed Judy out of the way and took the whole thing myself. It really, really hurt, and knocked me through a bank, which right now I realize is so ironic it hurts, but it was fortunately just a force beam and not a demon laser or hellfire or anything. I think Judy called out my name, but I didn't quite catch it, because before I could completely collect myself, she teleported her armor to her and shot towards the thing.

And a pseudopod of flesh formed and batted her away like she was actually a June Bug. She landed with a heavy thump-crash that knocked her through several layers of pavement. By this time, I could see Quizzer throwing the wreckage of the Brannigan Building at the demon with his mind.

Now, I was pissed, so I turned my right bracer all the way up, into a focused blast. The focused blast is that thing that the old Doc used on American Steel to actually hurt him, it's essentially taking the full power of an earthquake compressed into one small point.

So I turned it up as far as I could, pointed it at the demon, and fired, and right at that moment, right at that very moment, June Bug shot up in between me and the demon, right in the path of the blast. I didn't know, I didn't have time.

It hit her and she had her gravity distortion up as high as it could go so when it hit her she flew forward like a bullet and smashed straight through its body, from eye out the back and it deflated or something and melted but I wasn't paying attention I was just running and trying to find her.

Okay. Took a couple minutes to calm down.

We found Judy in lake Michigan. Her armor was a bit warped. The doctors say we got her out just in time. They're confident she'll wake up. Probably.

I should be there with her instead of here.

Ugh, but, there's one more part to this.

At her bedside, I said, "Rakshasa!" And he showed up. Or, at least an image of him.

"Oh dear. A bit of a mess, isn't it?" He said, looking out the window at New Vineyard.

"We had a deal. I don't try to stop you, my friends and family go unharmed." I snarled at him, in my rage, nbot quite registering that I was snarling at Rakshasa.

"Well, yes, and that deal still applies. I have done nothing to harm you and yours." He replied. "Do you suppose all those buildings were insured?"

"That demon chose me as the first target."

"Oh, you wanted to make deals with all the demons in Hell as well?" He said, finally turning to me. "Because that is a horse of a different color. I agreed I would not harm them when the world was bathed in hellfire, but I can't speak for every single demon out there. I am President now, therefore I cannot hold another political office, so, while the invasion is in progress, I am no longer King of Demons. Once I have destroyed this world, all of your friends and family will be safe but, until then, I hold no sway over them, officially."

I would have wanted to punch that smile off his face if it wasn't so damn creepy.

"Ah, there's that look of horrible realization. Rake had it, Shasta had it, that Greek soldier I first possessed had it...essentially, everyone I have ever made a deal with, really." Rakshasa grinned even wider. "Oh, if only I had a camera every time I saw someone's face like that. And yes, I may have let slip that your friends and family will be unable to be killed after this point, when I regain my throne, so they may be out for you and yours specifically, but, well, you know how gossip spreads. Oh, no, I was mistaken. THAT is the expression I want to have photographed every time. Well, I have important world-destruction to do and I am sure you will be busy trying to defend your loved ones from this new horrid revelation." An eye opened on his shoulder which glanced down at Judy. "I do hope you are every bit as successful with that as you have been today."

Then he disappeared and Dina knocked me out when I was arguing that I should stay.

And now I'm at a collection of third and second-rate superheroes and villains, wondering where the first stringers are and trying not to kill each other in the process.

I'm sure this will all end up great.