Hello Humans

My mistresses are too busy fighting amongst themselves to give you a proper update on Master Cataclysm's status, so they have tasked me to do so. I am Kushiel, Lock and Load's computer. No, I am not named for fantasy bondage erotica.

He is currently still brooding over certain things said to him by one Judy Barracs, his former lover. Meanwhile, Miss Hex also broods because she continually hints to him that she is infatuated with him but, alas, Master Cataclysm has yet to pick up on her hints despite them being, on occasion, glaringly obvious.

Oh dear. Madam Lock and Madam Load have pulled weapons on each other. I had best smooth over the situtation.

Haha You People Read Silas's Blog

Hey internet slaves wazzup this is Lock. You know im the sexy twin of Lock and Load. Load is an ugly slutbag and ihwehwadabdb;dbeubr

God Lock is such a fat whore. This is Load. Silas is being all emo and Dr. Nofun so we're hyjacking his blog. And I

Hey bitchtard guess what Kushiel let me hack the post while you write it ha ha you dumb twat

Ohmygod, learn to punctuate you idiot.

You make me twat farmer.

Oh that is it I am going to murder you so hard your retarded babies will be able to feel it. Anyway Silas is having "girl troubles" which is code for him being a total sissy about Hex and that Judy whore.

Judy is such a whore oh my god.

God damnit Lock I'm trying to write here. Can you stop being an idiot for ten fucking seconds and let me write?

Your mom.

We're twins you idiot. Also, my mom what you dumbass? Anyway, it's obvious Judy's trying to use him or something. But Hex has to be all "Oh I want him to be happy even if I'm not with him." God you can so tell she's still a virgin with all that fairy-tale sparkly vampire crap she keeps spouting.

Inorite?

Stop it you dumb bitch.

Oh now look who cant punctuate.

I'm going to beat you to death with Kushiel you fat whore.

Blah

Judy wants to talk to me about something. She's left like five apologetic-sounding voicemails. Blah. I don't have anything to say to her. She threw me out of my own aerial base! That's kind of a deal-breaker. Let 'Scarab' do whatever the hell she wants.

Hex agrees with me that nothing but trouble can come of this. Bruiser thinks that I'm being too harsh and maybe she still had some leftover demon mojo screwing around with her head when she did that.

....blah. Maybe I will go talk with her. But I'm bringing my armor. I may be a chump but I'm not stupid.

Superwatch 09

There was some kind of industrial accident out in the Dregs. I bet that someone got superpowers out of it.

Seriously, when I watch the news, I'm looking for stuff like that. You know, sizing up the competition and potential heroes.

Mechanor seems to be attacking used car lots in New Vineyard. I have no idea why, though. It's hitting them and running before anyone has the chance to stop that crazy robot.

The plan'll probably involve the cars coming alive and assaulting motorists. Or something. Man, I need to get to work on some villainy. I've been lazy this year.

Oy

I am not good at updating this thing anymore.

In my defense, though, I've been a bit busy what with thanksgiving and preparing for the holidays. I haven't even fought Quizzer lately. I guess he's too busy fighting vampires or whatever.

Seriously, what is up with vampires lately? Is it that Twilight movie? Is it as bad as I've heard it is? Judy hated them with vitriollic passion but I guess Hex reads them on occasion. I haven't been able to get a straight answer whether it's ironic or not. So I'm assuming it's guilty pleasure territory.

Thanksgiving was me and Hex watching superheroes trying to stop that alien metal from consuming New Vineyard. Does it seem wrong to anyone else that China gets ravaged for years by the techno plague and no one finds a cure, but it hits and American city for like two weeks and all of a sudden there's a cure?

The holidays currently promise to be the twins, P.A.I.N., Jack and his boyfriend, Mechanor, and possibly Lock and Load again. Probably because those two can't resist a chance to freeload. Captain Visigoth is still MIA. Which is probably for his own benefit given what his (ex?) wife is going to do to him when she finds him.

I smile when I think of that mental image. Though to be honest Dina Might deserves the same.

That Was A Nice Party

The party was very, very nice. Some of my friends were there, I got to antagonize "Lord" Grim, I got very, very drunk, and when I came home my daughter was still in one piece.

Less good was the fact that the alien metal cannibalized part of my workshop somehow. The cube kind of spread, making everything touching it the same metal and part of it, then that stuff contaminated the stuff around it. I investigated at a distance for a couple days and I think it hasa something to do with the techno plague.

I wasn't sure what to do with it, so I catapulted it into the city.

Last I heard, it's eaten three houses. It's kinda cool. I'd always wanted to see what the techno plague was like, and now, it's on my front doorstep.

Oh, and I found something that looks kinda neat. taratillinghast.blogspot.com. It's a cool little fictional blog. Always thought those were kinda neat. It's just now starting, so there won't be a lot of catchup.

More on the party later. I'm gonna make some popcorn and watch the techno plague with Hex on the news.

Haha. Magnet Bomb.

I love the Magnet Bomb. Really. I'm so glad I invented it.

Essentially, you turn a dial to either positive or negative and chuck the bomb. Then it explodes in a shower of sparkles. Whatever's in that radius of those sparkles gets a temporary selective magnetic field. A powerful one at that.

How this works out is as follows. I through a positive one at Quizzer and a negative one at a forklift, and we have a forklift that wants to be best pals with my arch nemesis. And by best pals, I mean it wants to hit him very hard.

I also tossed one at a trash can, some piles of luggage, and a whole stack of crates. It was pretty amusing. I got away with the alien metal. Score one for me.

Of course now I need to do something with it. Mostly just been analyzing it. Well, that and yesterday I got bored so I caused a ruckus just so Quizzer would show up. Then I hit him and a dumpster with positive and negative charges, respectively. That was fun. Especially since all that garbage also got a negative charge, so it flew everywhere due to repulsion before it started pelting Quizzer.

I seriously cannot get enough of these things.

Hex wants me to go with her to some Halloween party tomorrow. I don't think I can really say no--this holiday means a lot to her.

Need a babysitter, though. Mechanor's offered, but I'm hesitant. Very, very hesitant.

Also desperate, though. Might have to end up taking him up on it, despite my reservations.