Rut

I really need to get out of my rut. I mean, yeah, I've had a couple successful bank heists, and scrapyard runs, and armored car heists, and Brannigan runs, but still. Is this really all there is? Can't I ever do some serious villainy and actually have a shot at pulling it off without Quizzer or Judy ruining it?

Maybe Hex can help me out with something, get me out of my rut and into some decent villainy. I mean, she's been hanging around anyway, helping with the crying part-god I've adopted. Who is also completely adorable. I just wish it didn't feel like I was taking advantage of her the whole time. Oh well.

I'd attack Brannigan, but it's kind of like kicking a one-legged puppy at this point. Litigation for that whole illegal portal to hell thing's kind of left them broke.

More later if I think of something, as well as what happened with that cruise thing.

Cruise Ship Peril

Okay, so there's a cruise ship in the docks just about to make its maiden voyage. Yes, this is going to be around Lake Michigan, I don't see the point either. However, this isn't any ordinary cruise ship, it's a top of the line, all amenities taken care of, state of the art, might as well be a five start resort hotel monstrosity. It has energy weapons and a defensive shield, and a team of state-of-the-art combat androids posing as both crew and random passengers. Only the most wealthy people are going to be on this thing, especially since this is the first run.

I, of course, am going to rob it, hold it and its passengers hostage, etc., etc.

Remember when I made that Brannigan run a while back, right before the Tri-City Takeover? Well, this cruise ship was among the schematics I found. So I know its defenses, its weaknesses, and its entire floor plan. I'm going to take the ship without a fight and use its defenses against any lame hero--most likely my arch-nemesis Quizzer--who tries to stop me.

Now I just need to find a babysitter. I wonder if Hex is free.

Tri-City Takeover

Oh god I love this plan.

So, as of yesterday, there is an aerial battleship over New Vineyard, and one over Chicago, and one over Detroit. Two are unmanned, and I'm in one of them. If anything happens to any of the ships, the other two start firing. I'm holding three cities for ransom simultaneously! How cool is that?

So far no hero has come forward to challenge me, since millions of lives are at stake here. But Quizzer and Speed Demon sure are fuming impotently at the ships, that much is for certain. I call the battleships my TrEyeumvirate.

I have a couple tons of precious metals at the moment, and more on the way.

Though, to be honest, I'm not enjoying this as much as I should be.

Some time yesterday, Judy came out of the lab (and took a shower, thank god), and said she was going "out" to test out something called "Scarab". I haven't seen her since. However, I have been watching the news. Brannigan's tower, the one in downtown that was built around that portal, has imploded. No sign of explosives or the portal opening, which means it was hit by some kind of gravity bomb--as in, a bomb that released a massive pulse of condensed gravitational flucuations. There's only one person who can do that.

But what is Scarab?

Seriously Guys

Who builds a second weather machine? Brannigan totally has one right here. It's not a bad design, but still, already went that route. Though that reminds me, I really should do something with what's left of the Eye. Maybe I should assault the city with some kind of mobile battle fortress?

Or maybe...hmmmm....that's not a bad idea. Some top level villainy right there.

Okay, I have work to do. More later as I continue my new plan.

Sorry Guys

So, I bet you're all wondering where I've been. Well, Judy and I have pretty much non-stop been making our new armors. And mine's, finally, done.

We haven't really been doing it together, though. Judy's kinda sequestered herself away in a private workshop and she's been working without breaks as far as I can tell. But whenever I knock she says she's fine, so I guess she's fine. Room's not airtight and it's starting to smell, though. She should probably take a break for a shower or to throw out those old Cup Noodle bowls or something.

You know, this is actually pretty good timing. Quizzer's had his hands full, what with Siluriformes and Nuke and Mechanor and that new girl Foundress (need to get in contact with her, but yellow jackets kind of freak me out.) as well as finals to really have the energy to deal with me. And since the Government finall shut down that Brannigan lab with the demon portal in it before they could remove stuff...I think it's time to go on a five finger discount shopping spree.

And I know for a fact Quizzer was up late last night. Doctor Cataclysm: 1, Quizzer's Twitter: 0

That Bastard!

"Lord" Grim is trying to start his own supervillain group. He's trying to get the rights to P.A.I.N. before we do. That son of a bitch.

He's just doing this because he doesn't like me. I think Red Water might try to eat him some time over the weekend. Good. Hope he succeeds.

Am I writing that because it's going to happen or just to screw with Grim in case he reads this? That's for me to know and him to find out. Bon appetit, Red.

Besides Lord Annoying, things are going pretty well with the creation of P.A.I.N. They're going pretty well in general, actually, despite the fact that Judy's not up yet--and, even then, she's had a few more mumbled words and half-awake moments in the past few days.

Rakshasa sent me a letter of congratulations. Either that means he's already back in the physical world, or his magic lets him screw with me across dimensional barriers.

Oh, and I managed to salvage quite a few pieces of Siluriforme tech. Some of it will prove useful with armor 3.0. Despite what improvements I make, I might just make it look like 2.0. I liked the look, and no one really expects armor that looks exactly like the old stuff to be that much better. That, and I don't want the pictures of me on CapeWiki to be that much more out of date.

One last bit of news--Brannigan's under investigation for having an unregistered demonic portal in their labs. Haha. Suckers.

The Story Thus Far

Judy and I had an argument right before the inauguration. She didn't see what I was so worried about, if there was a truce with Rakshasa.

So she stormed off and I went to follow her. I saw the inauguration like people see important things in movies--from tvs in a store window.

Then there was a big rumbling and I realized that there might've been an alterior motive for Brannigan building this island where it did. Say, maybe there was a transdimensional rift right here. Maybe a few hundred feet in the air. Something like that would be an excellent power source.

Unfortunately, when it opens to Hell, that means when Rakshasa opens up all the portals to Hell, that a monster born from nightmare a couple hundred feet tall and about that wide crashes through it. The Brannigan Building exploded, which caused a lot of damage, but the massive wall of pustulant flesh that oozed from its wreckage that was the real problem.

I caught up with Judy right then, and before either of us could say anything, an eye the size of a mini-mart opened in the center of the oozing thing's mass, centered on us, and fired an eye beam.

I pushed Judy out of the way and took the whole thing myself. It really, really hurt, and knocked me through a bank, which right now I realize is so ironic it hurts, but it was fortunately just a force beam and not a demon laser or hellfire or anything. I think Judy called out my name, but I didn't quite catch it, because before I could completely collect myself, she teleported her armor to her and shot towards the thing.

And a pseudopod of flesh formed and batted her away like she was actually a June Bug. She landed with a heavy thump-crash that knocked her through several layers of pavement. By this time, I could see Quizzer throwing the wreckage of the Brannigan Building at the demon with his mind.

Now, I was pissed, so I turned my right bracer all the way up, into a focused blast. The focused blast is that thing that the old Doc used on American Steel to actually hurt him, it's essentially taking the full power of an earthquake compressed into one small point.

So I turned it up as far as I could, pointed it at the demon, and fired, and right at that moment, right at that very moment, June Bug shot up in between me and the demon, right in the path of the blast. I didn't know, I didn't have time.

It hit her and she had her gravity distortion up as high as it could go so when it hit her she flew forward like a bullet and smashed straight through its body, from eye out the back and it deflated or something and melted but I wasn't paying attention I was just running and trying to find her.

Okay. Took a couple minutes to calm down.

We found Judy in lake Michigan. Her armor was a bit warped. The doctors say we got her out just in time. They're confident she'll wake up. Probably.

I should be there with her instead of here.

Ugh, but, there's one more part to this.

At her bedside, I said, "Rakshasa!" And he showed up. Or, at least an image of him.

"Oh dear. A bit of a mess, isn't it?" He said, looking out the window at New Vineyard.

"We had a deal. I don't try to stop you, my friends and family go unharmed." I snarled at him, in my rage, nbot quite registering that I was snarling at Rakshasa.

"Well, yes, and that deal still applies. I have done nothing to harm you and yours." He replied. "Do you suppose all those buildings were insured?"

"That demon chose me as the first target."

"Oh, you wanted to make deals with all the demons in Hell as well?" He said, finally turning to me. "Because that is a horse of a different color. I agreed I would not harm them when the world was bathed in hellfire, but I can't speak for every single demon out there. I am President now, therefore I cannot hold another political office, so, while the invasion is in progress, I am no longer King of Demons. Once I have destroyed this world, all of your friends and family will be safe but, until then, I hold no sway over them, officially."

I would have wanted to punch that smile off his face if it wasn't so damn creepy.

"Ah, there's that look of horrible realization. Rake had it, Shasta had it, that Greek soldier I first possessed had it...essentially, everyone I have ever made a deal with, really." Rakshasa grinned even wider. "Oh, if only I had a camera every time I saw someone's face like that. And yes, I may have let slip that your friends and family will be unable to be killed after this point, when I regain my throne, so they may be out for you and yours specifically, but, well, you know how gossip spreads. Oh, no, I was mistaken. THAT is the expression I want to have photographed every time. Well, I have important world-destruction to do and I am sure you will be busy trying to defend your loved ones from this new horrid revelation." An eye opened on his shoulder which glanced down at Judy. "I do hope you are every bit as successful with that as you have been today."

Then he disappeared and Dina knocked me out when I was arguing that I should stay.

And now I'm at a collection of third and second-rate superheroes and villains, wondering where the first stringers are and trying not to kill each other in the process.

I'm sure this will all end up great.

It's All So Clear

When I first looked at those plans I stole, they weren't much. But I was missing the big picture. Sure, they themselves are unremarkable, but then I took a closer look at the implication behind them.

I'm pretty sure, judging by these plans, that Brannigan has found a way to produce the same amount of energy as a Deviant Reactor, only several thousand times smaller and safer.

...and when I told Judy this, she was all, "Oh, you didn't know?"

Sigh.

Oh well, now that I know about it, I might as well see if I can find out how they're doing it. Because with a generator like that, there's no end to the amount of carnage I could unleash.

Out on a Brannigan run. And, hey, Judy's coming too.

I almost feel sorry for Brannigan. Almost.