On Fellow Villains

So, Foundress isn't really all that bad, now that we've finally met. She's one of those "change/rule the world" types, so she's prone to periodic ranting. I can't help but think someday she'll be in Operation Mayhem because of it. They tend to like people with grand plans. And people who are very good at causing damage.

Of course, those two lines intersect at Lady Anaconda for a reason.

I'm less sure about the vampire and the ghost. Sanguinous and Wailing Kate, to be exact. They're both really, really theatrical. It's like Sanguinous watched every Anne Rice vampire movie and read every book to learn how to be a vampire. Oh well, at least he doesn't sparkle.

Wailing Kate, on the other hand, as I understand it, used to be an actress. It shows. For one, she's a theme villain. She does theater-based crimes. You know, I wouldn't have realized there were so many priceless play and movie-based items stored in New Vineyard without Wailing Kate's antics. She says she's a ghost but I'm not sure. Especially since she picked her name from local folklore and looks nothing like pictures of the 1940s actress she's supposed to be.

Why do we have, in a brand new city, a theater supposedly haunted by a 1940s actress? The whole theater was taken from Old Vineyard and transplanted by truck and boat.

Anyway, there's another guy called Synapse in town too. Not sure what his deal is, he hasn't been around long. Just robbed a bank last week. Seems to have telepathy or something. He has this full body suit thing, covers his face, eyes, hands, everything.

Hm. Capewiki says someone by that name used to be Quizzer's nemesis way back when. Hmph. Hope he realizes nerdboy has a new main villain.

Oh, and Hex would like to go on the record and say she isn't my sidekick, that she's just trying to get her foot in the door in New Vineyard. And apparently that involves being my sidekick.

Well. That comment's going to have me sleeping in the guest room. It was worth it, though. Deirdre's making sure I know she still exists, so I should check what's wrong. More, later.

Oh, Hello

I really feel super bad about ruining Doctor Cataclysm's big plan. He's making me do this post as part of my way for making up for it.

I'm Vanessa Espa, also known as the Foundress. And I really am sorry. I had no idea that the vent intakes would be the perfect nesting spot for my genetically altered super paper wasps, and that they would then flood the entire lion mecha with my lovely, acid-spitting children who can sting through duranium. And I seriously didn't intend for all of them to get loose. Yet.

I'd never do something like that on purpose. I have nothing but respect for the good Doctor and what he's trying to do. While his anarchic antics tear society down I can work on replacing it with the perfect, orderly society we should have. You know, like apocrita have. Nothing so base as a honey bee or ant, though. Humanity is the top of the chain--we're marauders and conquerers an order of magnitude above the base ant. Like my babies. And me. If humanity proves itself worthy, I may even give it the blessing I have, accidentally, received.

Some people will tell you that accidentally making myself part-yellow jacket is what's responsible for making me "crazy", but, really, it only added to my clarity. I thought much the same way when I was only a human. Now that I'm a higher order of creature, I can think in ways so much more clearly than an ape can.

Oh, wait. I'm getting sidetracked by a rant. Sorry, that happens sometimes.

Next time, I will try to be more careful when I splice super soldier serum and vespa mandarinia japonica genes with more common, American species. Though even Doctor Cataclysm and his ladyfriend sidekick had to admit that my babies were very impressive.

Well, now I must enter into part two of making it up to Doctor Cataclysm: buying/stealing him and Hex dinner somewhere. I do hope this has explained that I did not mean to ruin his plan so.

--The Foundress

On Henchmen

Is it too much to ask for my orders to be carried out without a henchman questioning them?

Me: "Start killing hostages."

Henchman: "Uh, what?"

Me: "You see those live hostages?"

Hench: "Yeah boss."

Me: "Kill them until I tell you to stop."

I mean, it's not even really about killing hostages, because starting on the hostages is inevitably what brings the hero out of the woodwork, but really. I'm a bad dude. Is it too hard to simply do what I say?

Well, that plan was a bust because like clockwork ordering my henches to kill hostages caused Quizzer to attack. God, if I'm not being foiled by heroes I'm being foiled by other villains. See: what happened at the end of January.

For those who don't know, I had my most awesome plan ever. I had victory within my grasp and then, completely by accident, Foundress screwed everything up. She's said she's sorry like a million times but sorry doesn't heal genetically altered hornet stings heal.

I might try to salvage my ultimate plan, though. I mean, a giant fire-breathing mechanical lion has got to have more than one use.

Hex and I are off to eat some of the honeycomb that Foundress keeps sending us to make amends. More later.

I'm Pretty Sure the Zoo Hates Quizzer

My reasons? They're bringing in a couple dozen Japanese Hornets as part of an exhibition. That's acid-breathing, finger-sized vespidae. It's like they're hanging a sign: Foundress please steal these and make Quizzer's life miserable.

Speaking of things that will piss off Quizzer, villainy's going good. I'm building something from scratch this time. Should be a good time. For people that aren't him, anyway.

Gonna watch a movie with Hex in the living room. She's promised me it's not a vampire movie. We'll see. I've promised a pony to Deirdre if she can keep quiet during the whole movie, but seeing as she probably didn't understand me, it's probably a lost cause.

Oh, there'll probably be some changes around here in the next few days. Don't be surprised when they happen.

Stuff

Okay, I might be on to something for some new villainy, but it's too soon to tell.

Deirdre Update: She said her first word. Well, words. They were "Death Ray". I'm so proud.

So, anyway, as you may have guessed, I'm dating Hex now. Judy tried to get back with me, or use me for an evil scheme, or whatever, but I turned her down. Hex is so much nicer and less likely to betray me than Judy...excuse me, Scarab was.

It's kind of funny, Hex is a huge fan of Twilight. You'd think I'd stop making fun of it now that we're dating but, no dice. To be fair, she seems to like it for the exact opposite reason most people seem to: rather than view it as a beautiful love story, she sees it as a twisted story of corruption and moral decay. She backs this up by saying that the vampire guy saying he's a virgin has to be a line to get the love interest into bed, among other things. I don't remember any of their names and I don't care enough to look them up.

The Foundress has been attacking a lot lately. I still have no idea what her modus operandi is: is she a villain for some reason, or is she like me and basically doing this because she can? I'd ask her, but wasps are too freaky.

Hopefully she's not like Mechanor, i.e., doing this because it read about everything Mehcanor did in the future before coming back in time to do it over again. At least, that's what Mechanor claims its reasons are. Most of the time.

Hex is thinking about being villainous around here, mostly because she's tired of being a second-string villain to the Scarlet Sorceress. I mean, she's a strong witch and all, but the other villains Double S deals with are people like Rakshasa and my sister and Dina Might.

It helps, our relationship, that is, that we also both have a grudge against Rakshasa, as does the rest of P.A.I.N., for various reasons.

Okay, back to seeing if I can get Deirdre to say the word 'duranium'.

Out of the Woodwork

Wow, Quizzer's getting all sorts of villains these days. I mean, none really compare to yours truly, but still. There's some sorta new gang in town with high-tech weapons. Mostly been hanging around in Southeast, kinda where you'd expect a gang to be. Wierd name though--the Candleflames. Is it just me or does that sound a little...you know..limp-wristed?

Considering their penchant for arson, though, non-threatening as their name may be, they don't seem to be messing around.

Oh well, as long as they respect their place in the villain hierarchy, no reason to go after them.

Still need to talk to Foundress. Maybe I can convince her to leave her wasps behind or something. Anyway, off to the movies. Hopefully Deirdre won't spend the whole time crying.

Foundress

It's been months and I still haven't gotten ahold of that new girl in New Vineyard, Foundress.

I still maintain that yellow jackets freak me out, but, as Quizzer's Arch Nemesis, I feel that when someone else starts screwing around in his and my city, I should, I dunno, at least talk to her or something. Compare notes, coordinate attacks, something like that. Who knows, maybe she'd want to be in P.A.I.N. Having someone who can control super-wasps would be pretty awesome. Even if they are creepy as hell.

And seriously, hearing Quizzer shout "Oh God, bees!" was hilarious.

She seems pretty mysterious for the most part, though. I mean, she's got to have a reason for mostly going after cosmetics and chemical plants and stuff like that. She seems to have a beef with Arkady too. Hope she's not related to Nuke somehow, that'd be awkward. Well, from the skin her outfit shows, she doesn't look black, so a blood relation's pretty unlikely, and I think Fallout woulda told me if that were the case, but still, you never know.

Oh hey, looks like Hex'd be more than happy to baby sit, score. I'll have to bring her back something nice for taking care of Deirdre. I'm kind of worried that she's not doing enough of her own villainy helping me, though. She says it doesn't bother her, but I know I'm kind of a depressed lump some days when that Judy stuff hits me pretty hard, and she's really good helping me through that, so i can't help but feel I'm holding her back. Oh well.

Gotta plan. Got some serious badguy time in store for this town.

Sorry Guys

So, I bet you're all wondering where I've been. Well, Judy and I have pretty much non-stop been making our new armors. And mine's, finally, done.

We haven't really been doing it together, though. Judy's kinda sequestered herself away in a private workshop and she's been working without breaks as far as I can tell. But whenever I knock she says she's fine, so I guess she's fine. Room's not airtight and it's starting to smell, though. She should probably take a break for a shower or to throw out those old Cup Noodle bowls or something.

You know, this is actually pretty good timing. Quizzer's had his hands full, what with Siluriformes and Nuke and Mechanor and that new girl Foundress (need to get in contact with her, but yellow jackets kind of freak me out.) as well as finals to really have the energy to deal with me. And since the Government finall shut down that Brannigan lab with the demon portal in it before they could remove stuff...I think it's time to go on a five finger discount shopping spree.

And I know for a fact Quizzer was up late last night. Doctor Cataclysm: 1, Quizzer's Twitter: 0