Whew

Sorry about that. It's been a hectic, um, week and a half since I last posted. For mostly good reasons, though.

Alright, guess I should fill you guys in on what happened at the museum on Saturday. Well, the date actually went pretty well. The guy at the front gave me a little flak, but he backed down when he realized I was A, willing to pay, and B, very, very large.

We didn't go straight for the diamond. Instead, we took a little tour around the museum, saw the dinosaurs, got some overpriced churros, etc. You know, museum stuff. And then we got to the diamond.

It was more impressive than I thought it would be. The gem was bigger than my head and sea green.

It also wasn't really a diamond. I saw that too. There's a type of energy created by harmonizing certain rare gems together, called the Deviant Effect, from the golden age supervillain, Devias, that invented it. It's extremely high energy and very, very unstable, unless you have the exact number of specially made and crafted artificial diamonds to back it up. The first Doctor C studied it and tried to duplicate it once or twice, so I knew a Deviant Diamond when I saw it.

"It's beautiful." Judy, oblivious, said. I started to reply when a large explosion rocked the museum, and a troop of, well, the best way to describe them is "Catfish People". Bipedal, smooth grey skin, big whiskers, spiny bits. You know, catfish people. There's a pretty good picture of them on CapeWiki. Look under Siluriformes. I wrote most of that article, so you know it's quality. They were all dressed in these silver jumpsuits with a breather-apparatus over their gills that was hooked up to this tank thing. They all had these wierd trident-electrogun things.

Anyway, after blowing a hole in the side of the museum with some sort of artillery, killing and injuring dozens, the leader--he had a fish skull on his lapel--started ordering his men around and I shoved Judy behind me. They went straight for the diamond, and started to make off with it when my least favorite meddler in a cape, Quizzer, showed up and started tossing them left and right with that telekinesis of his. They tried their electrowhatsits, but his force field kept them at bay.

Fish Skull was starting to get frantic now, having obiously not anticipated Captain Dumbname arriving. And then he fixes his fisheyes on me--at least, that's what I thought. He gargled out some garglemesh and a bunch of his goons mobbed me--I held my own, but I didn't quite realize that I was just a distraction. Before I knew it, I threw ten of those proto-fishsticks off me only to see two of them dragging off Judy. She yelled out my name, I yelled out hers, it was all very dramatic. And then, Fish Skull pointed his trident at Judy and made a loud gargling noise, probably to get Quizzer's attention.

See, I'm obviously superhuman. So they saw this girl hiding behind a big strong superhero type (ha) and probably thought she was important. Thus, a perfect hostage. Fish Skull grabbed her, and then moved out slowly with a few minions, who happened to have the "diamond" with them.

Quizzer, thankfully being one of those goody-goody types, didn't attack and endanger Judy. However, as soon as Fish Skull was out of eyesight, the fishboys remaining started assaulting us. I tried to rush after him, and Quizzer, to his credit, tried to follow too, but the minions kept us at bay long enough that, by the time we'd gotten out and beaten them all to a sushi pulp, the only sign of them was a trail of destruction leading to and from the water's edge.

"Hey, you there! Bulldozer!" He called to me. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm not called that anymore and you know it." I yelled back, fuming at this point for letting the fishmen take Judy.

"Okay." He hovered down next to me. "Look, Cataclysm. I know we've had our differences, but I can't go under water very well and.."

I shushed him. "You want me to, what, lend you my sub?"

"...yes."

"First of all, you're not charging into their base and endangering my Judy with my sub. If they want that gem for what I think they want it..." My eyes trailed to the catfish men's bodies. They looked like they had radios. And maybe some kind of GPS system...

"Meet me at the Purple Corner Cafe in an hour, street clothes." He tried to say something, but I shushed him again.

"Don't argue. I have a plan."

That's enough for now, getting tired. Later today, I'll write about the team-up that should never have happened--Me and Quizzer.