Thursday, November 27, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving

.....even though pretty much the only things I'm thankful for are this mole machine and Judy.

So apparently The Badger has vowed to put my reign of burrowing terror to an end. Pft. I'd like to see him try. I may not be the best villain, but I'm way out of that guy's league.

He might not need to try to bring me in, though. I dunno, I'm just starting to really miss Judy. And I really want some kind of Chinese food. It is impossible to get someone to deliver to a mole machine. Not that I haven't tried.

Maybe I'll go grab a turkey somewhere and go back to the lair. I can always been emo and whiny again tomorrow.

More later.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Damnit Judy

I really need to change my password.

Anyway, yeah, her post was, thought mortifying, accurate. You guys seriously don't know how fun this thing is.

Though I haven't really gotten around to threatening the city yet. Mostly, I've just made, um, a bunch of earthquakes all throughout the midwest. That's villainy. People in the midwest freak the hell out whenever there's an earthquake. It's hilarious.

Okay yes I could be using this to my advantage and maybe I've been underground a bit too long. But, besides Judy, why should I ever leave? I have wifi down here and enough food and water to last months. Up there it's just demons threatening me and increasingly horrible villainy.

Yes, I'm having a nervous breakdown. But to hell with it, the break's been really nice.

More later. Maybe. If I feel like it.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Judy Again

Hey guys, this is June Bug, once again teaching Silas a lesson for giving me his account name and password.

Why hasn't he updated in like two and a half weeks? He'd say he's been busy. The truth is, he's been burrowing in that oversized drill and having a great time this whole time. Apparently it's really, really fun.

He still won't let me play with it, though. Which is making me hardcore pouty in his general direction.

So, since Doctor Cataclysm isn't willing to talk on his blog, it's time once again for Embarrassing Facts About Silas.

Embarrassing Fact One: Silas still has his childhood teddy bear. He keeps it in his closet and sometimes brings it out and talks to it when he thinks I'm not around. It's so adorable. The bear's name is Lieutenant Sniffles.

Embarrassing Fact Two: Silas talks in his sleep. Mostly nonsense. Once he said, "Look out for the tuna factory."

That's all for now. Hopefully Silas will stop playing around with his drill and come up for air sometime soon,

Heh. Boys.

Friday, November 7, 2008

...Just Now Read What Judy Wrote

God Damnit Judy.

Mwahahaha!

I am a master of technology! After a day of toiling, I now have wifi underground!

Now, I'm not usually the most boastful guy, but, come on. Internet underground. I even have cell phone reception. All I had to do was commandeer a military satilite and then remotely alter its function on a massive scale.

So, anyway, yes, now that I have internet I can turn this baby on the city tomorrow. That's gonna be fun.

Where did I get a skyscraper-sized mole machine? It was one of the old Doc's inventions. Mostly it was just lying around. But I thought, hey, why not take it for a spin and threaten to undermine the geological structure of the entire island?

Gonna make my demands, break something as an example (probably Brannigan) tomorrow. More then.

From the Desk of June Bug

Hihi everyone, this is Judy, Silas's girlfriend. I'm covering for him while he figures out a way to get wifi in the mole machine. He does alright above ground, but we haven't been able to beam the tubes through the earth just yet.

Okay. Now that I've gotten that out of the way, it's time to say embarrassing things about Silas.

Don't give me that look. He's so adorable when he's flustered. Picture a nearly seven foot tall redhead built like a brick wall with glowing red eyes blushing and stammering, "God Damnit, Judy."

Okay, so, Silas is so sweet. You wouldn't think it at first, but he's just so awkward and loveable, like a really big dog. And he's such a complete romantic, in an insecure way. Like Don Juan with crippling self esteem issues.

I'm totally in love. You know it's for real when he lets you roll around in his pile of money.

Okay, that's probably enough to make him sufficiently flustered for maximum blush. It really doesn't take much.

Villainy Update

You know that saying, "when you have a (blank), everything looks like (activity you do you blank)"?

Well, apparently, when you have a mole machine the size of a sky scraper, everything looks like something you need to drill into.

More later.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Post-Election Report

We live in a multiverse. I know this first hand, because I have fought alongside and against versions of myself from alternate realities. Cowboy Cataclysm from the Cowboy Universe was just confusing.

In one universe, maybe the US just got its first black president.

In another, maybe the first woman or hispanic or middle eastern president. And great for those universes, I say.

In this universe, as of last night, we got our first eldritch demon lord president. And, yet, he's still a middle aged white guy. No, Voodoo Zombie Nixon doesn't count.

He won't get power for another two and a half months. Maybe someone will figure out Rakshasa's plan before then.

The worst part is, I'm getting so frustrated about this. It makes me want to do something. Something drastic.

Time to hold the city for ransom again.