Monday, January 31, 2011

Ow My Face

Goddamn Quizzer.

Now I need a new base.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Update!

This plan is awesome.

Basically, it's a standard "ransom city for precious metals and gems" plan. Why always precious metals and gems? Mostly to make more things with.

But thousands of tiny magnet bombs, scattered everywhere, ready to cause havoc at a moment's notice? If Quizzer tries to stop them at one side of the city, I can set them off on the other side. He tries to save Downtown, I can detonate bombs in the Slags. He tries to save the Slags and I can detonate bombs in Southeast.

And the beautiful chaos they cause when they go off. I honestly can't see him foiling this one. At least not until I get a good haul.

He might just come right at me, though. I don't think he knows exactly where my base is, but I'm pretty sure he knows it's under water. Oh well, I've had years to get this thing Quizzer-proof. Let 'im come.

In more serious news, Rodney Richards, also known as the villain Lightning Rod, received the death penalty today, ironically enough by electric chair.

I'd say I feel bad about this, and how it sucks to have another dead villain, but he was scum, so screw him. People like him give other villains a bad name--even Captain Visigoth and "Lord" Grim're classier than he was.

I'd worry about getting flamed by his friends and henchmen, but I think he lost all of them a while ago.

Anyway, back to monitoring my plan.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Insert Maniacal Laughter

So, I spent today filling the city with Magnet Bombs on a remote timer. Made sure to put the "negatives" pretty close to the "positives".

Mwaha.

Hell yes magnet bombs.

Time to Turn Things Around

This year is the turning point. I'm going to write more, and I'm going to do more stuff. Like villain stuff.

Villain stuff. It's phrases like that that prove I'm a professional.

Why this sudden exclamation? Life's pretty good right now, honestly. Sure, my godly infant has become a godly toddler, but seeing her still makes me smile. Hex is still awesome to date and it's going really well. I haven't had any major schemes in a while, but I'm going to change that. Can't have Scarab and Sinapse muscling me out of my position as New Vineyard's main villain, after all.

I know just the thing to get me started off. An oldy but a goody, you might say. If you were, you know, incredibly lame.

Time to take the city by storm. Not literally, though. No more weather control for me. At least not right now.

I feel good about this year.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Reader Mail!

Alright, alright. Been busy what with godly toddler and all, been planning some stuff, etc. Sorry I missed that deadline, um, months ago. Anyway, to tide people who still might be reading over, here's some reader mail!

Hey Doc. C
Why'd you change your costume? I thought the old Doctor's look was pretty sharp!
Jake from World's Edge, New York

--Well Jake, I liked it too, but honestly, I thought it was time for an overhaul. You know, get a new look for a new Doctor Cataclysm. Also, the catsuit chafed big time.---

Dr. Doctor Cataclysm
Something's been bugging me. If you're nearly invulnerable, why do you wear armor?
Sincerely, Diane from Athens, Colorado

--For one, it's about brand identity. The old Doc. C wore armor and, well, it just wouldn't feel right without it. Also, given the sheer number of times I've been blown up, I'm kind of glad to have that extra layer of duranium. I may be nigh invulernable, but I'm in no hurry to test that particular power's limits.---

Hey Doc C, you're awesome! Fuck authority! Fuck the system!
Blaze from New Vineyard, Illinois

--I'm going out on a limb here and assuming this is a Candleflames member. Oh well, nice to have a fan. Keep fighting the bad fight, little guy!

Hey, is it true that Lock and Load share everything?
Some horny kid from Basalt Flows, Texas

--Lock and Load have never shared anything, ever, past, present, or future, with anybody. Especially not with each other.---

What are Lock and Load's measurements?
Some other horny kid from Bastion, California

--Impossible without all their implants. Sorry, frustrated teenagers. They're fake. And by "they" I mean like 80% of their bodies.

Well, hope you enjoyed that cop-out. More stuff later. Hopefully that's even true this time!