On Fellow Villains

So, Foundress isn't really all that bad, now that we've finally met. She's one of those "change/rule the world" types, so she's prone to periodic ranting. I can't help but think someday she'll be in Operation Mayhem because of it. They tend to like people with grand plans. And people who are very good at causing damage.

Of course, those two lines intersect at Lady Anaconda for a reason.

I'm less sure about the vampire and the ghost. Sanguinous and Wailing Kate, to be exact. They're both really, really theatrical. It's like Sanguinous watched every Anne Rice vampire movie and read every book to learn how to be a vampire. Oh well, at least he doesn't sparkle.

Wailing Kate, on the other hand, as I understand it, used to be an actress. It shows. For one, she's a theme villain. She does theater-based crimes. You know, I wouldn't have realized there were so many priceless play and movie-based items stored in New Vineyard without Wailing Kate's antics. She says she's a ghost but I'm not sure. Especially since she picked her name from local folklore and looks nothing like pictures of the 1940s actress she's supposed to be.

Why do we have, in a brand new city, a theater supposedly haunted by a 1940s actress? The whole theater was taken from Old Vineyard and transplanted by truck and boat.

Anyway, there's another guy called Synapse in town too. Not sure what his deal is, he hasn't been around long. Just robbed a bank last week. Seems to have telepathy or something. He has this full body suit thing, covers his face, eyes, hands, everything.

Hm. Capewiki says someone by that name used to be Quizzer's nemesis way back when. Hmph. Hope he realizes nerdboy has a new main villain.

Oh, and Hex would like to go on the record and say she isn't my sidekick, that she's just trying to get her foot in the door in New Vineyard. And apparently that involves being my sidekick.

Well. That comment's going to have me sleeping in the guest room. It was worth it, though. Deirdre's making sure I know she still exists, so I should check what's wrong. More, later.

Oh, Hello

I really feel super bad about ruining Doctor Cataclysm's big plan. He's making me do this post as part of my way for making up for it.

I'm Vanessa Espa, also known as the Foundress. And I really am sorry. I had no idea that the vent intakes would be the perfect nesting spot for my genetically altered super paper wasps, and that they would then flood the entire lion mecha with my lovely, acid-spitting children who can sting through duranium. And I seriously didn't intend for all of them to get loose. Yet.

I'd never do something like that on purpose. I have nothing but respect for the good Doctor and what he's trying to do. While his anarchic antics tear society down I can work on replacing it with the perfect, orderly society we should have. You know, like apocrita have. Nothing so base as a honey bee or ant, though. Humanity is the top of the chain--we're marauders and conquerers an order of magnitude above the base ant. Like my babies. And me. If humanity proves itself worthy, I may even give it the blessing I have, accidentally, received.

Some people will tell you that accidentally making myself part-yellow jacket is what's responsible for making me "crazy", but, really, it only added to my clarity. I thought much the same way when I was only a human. Now that I'm a higher order of creature, I can think in ways so much more clearly than an ape can.

Oh, wait. I'm getting sidetracked by a rant. Sorry, that happens sometimes.

Next time, I will try to be more careful when I splice super soldier serum and vespa mandarinia japonica genes with more common, American species. Though even Doctor Cataclysm and his ladyfriend sidekick had to admit that my babies were very impressive.

Well, now I must enter into part two of making it up to Doctor Cataclysm: buying/stealing him and Hex dinner somewhere. I do hope this has explained that I did not mean to ruin his plan so.

--The Foundress

On Henchmen

Is it too much to ask for my orders to be carried out without a henchman questioning them?

Me: "Start killing hostages."

Henchman: "Uh, what?"

Me: "You see those live hostages?"

Hench: "Yeah boss."

Me: "Kill them until I tell you to stop."

I mean, it's not even really about killing hostages, because starting on the hostages is inevitably what brings the hero out of the woodwork, but really. I'm a bad dude. Is it too hard to simply do what I say?

Well, that plan was a bust because like clockwork ordering my henches to kill hostages caused Quizzer to attack. God, if I'm not being foiled by heroes I'm being foiled by other villains. See: what happened at the end of January.

For those who don't know, I had my most awesome plan ever. I had victory within my grasp and then, completely by accident, Foundress screwed everything up. She's said she's sorry like a million times but sorry doesn't heal genetically altered hornet stings heal.

I might try to salvage my ultimate plan, though. I mean, a giant fire-breathing mechanical lion has got to have more than one use.

Hex and I are off to eat some of the honeycomb that Foundress keeps sending us to make amends. More later.