I am the Worst Supervillain Ever

Alright, so, I was coming back from Meijer with a volvo full of spackle when I decided, hey, there's a gas station with a quick stop, I want a hot dog and a slushy. So I parked, hopped out of the car, and started for the door. I'm dressed in a black t-shirt, hoodie, jeans, boots, and a black baseball cap--basically, I look like either a robber or someone famous who doesn't want to get recognized. If I'm going to get wierd looks for my sunglasses, I might as well go the whole nine yards and look completely ridiculous, after all.

Anyway, right as I walk to the door, this scrawny kid in a ski mask bolts out of the quick stop, a big bag in his arms, with the manager of the store yelling at him, and to a lesser extent, me. Without thinking, I closelined the kid, which I imagine felt a lot like running full tilt into a cement post, given how much super-ceramic laces my body.

Now, the villainous thing to do would have been to take that money, bust inside, get a hot dog and slushy, and enjoy them as the police tried, in vain, to stop my awesome juggernaut of a body.

I didn't do this. Instead, I took the money inside and gave it back to the old man behind the counter, and then insisted on paying for my dog and slush, even when he offered them free of charge. You know, like a hero would do.

I know how this looks, but think about it, seriously. If I'd have taken that money, I'd have, what, fifty bucks, maybe a hundred? Wow. That's the freaking motherload. Seriously, I'm Doctor Cataclysm, not The Mugger or The Vandal or Captain Visigoth. If I want money, I'll plow through a bank vault with an Incinerator tank, or hold the city for ransom with a death ray, or something.

Still, though, I can't help but feel a little dirty for doing a good deed. It was a good thing I wasn't suited up. I can see the headlines now: "Doctor Cataclysm Helps Old Lady Cross Street; Becomes Curch Youth Outreach Minister."

I'll make up for it tomorrow. After I ransack the industrial junkyards for some steel and titanium (or maybe duranium if I'm really luck), maybe I'll knock over a bank or two.