The Speech

Just in case you didn't get a chance to see it before the world started to end, here's Jonathan Rake's Innaugural Address. And, oh, when he was sworn in, he didn't use a copy of the bible.

Rake started the speech by laughing maniacally.

"I apologize. For a long time, I have dreamed of this moment. Frankly, I am a bit overwhelmed.

I want to thank you, the people of the United States of America, and the people of the world itself, for making the office of President what it is today. In its first incarnation it was meant as a balanced figure, not a leader but, rather, a manager, the face behind the law the other branches create and enforce.

But you, you the people have made it so much more. The President is a symbol of freedom. "The Leader of the Free World", people have called the possessor of this office. You, and the traditions of the nation, and how other nations view this land, have made the office of President so much more than it was intended, perhaps not the leader in the letter of the law, but very much so in the spirit.

And, it turns out, the spirit is all I need."

Then he turned into his weird tiger-headed form and the screaming started.

"It was so easy to manipulate you all. Give you something too good to be true and like sheep you never questioned if it was.

Much like Rake, really. I gave him a chance to be in power. He realized he was too much of a nice guy. Nice guys never really make it in American politics. They end up building houses for the poor, all but forgotten and abandoned for the cutthroat, the ruthless. And if it makes you all feel better he regrets what he promised me for this chance.

Oh, I should get on to business before someone tries to stop me."

His tentacles formed and lashed out and killed all the guards who had been rushing to him.

"As I was saying, I am now leader of this country. I own all of the government-owned land, all of the borders, everything. In your perspective, anyway. I now am the symbol of this nation as much as the flag. I am the face the United States presents to the world.

And, as my first act as President, I declare that all portals to the Demon World, all those government owned and protected areas of land, be opened. Now."

He "smiled" then much wider than he should have been able to.

"Now, if the band could start playing 'Hail to the Chief', that would be lovely."

He didn't keep his word, I'm not going to keep mine.

He's going down.