Deirdre

So, Deirdre.

Well, not long after the whole explosive breakup with Judy, Dina and I were settling back into the base when she goes into labor. And, since the father, my "good friend" Captain Visigoth is god only knows where, I had to take the pregnant half-jöttun to the hospital. Let me tell you, they are going to be repairing that maternity ward for a while. I mean, she was in labor for twevle hours at least, and every time she thrashed or kicked with that super strength of hers behind it, something blew up.

At some point I got so tired even the sounds of her destroying the hospital started to lull me to sleep, so I dozed off in like the only remaining chair around.

Now, some of you might be thinking: why didn't you go in there and hold her hand or something? What kind of gentleman are you? Answer: The kind that enjoys having non-broken bones. She's not my wife, I'm not going to put myself in intensive care for her. It kind of feels good to be able to say that without Judy punching me.

Anyway, when I woke up, the doctors were trying to hand me what I could only assume was Dina's baby, saying congratulations in the tone one uses when a gun is pointed at them.

The conversation went something like this:

"I'm not the father."

"The mother threatened us unless we processed her signing over custody to you."

"WTF"

"Sorry man."

In essence, Dina decided she didn't really want a kid either, so she didn't even bother naming her daughter before skipping town. Turns out if your mom's a frost giant, having a kid doesn't slow you down much. So Dina used the only tool she knows--brute force--and got her daughter adopted by me while I was asleep and then took off, probably to try to find her errant husband.

In hindsight, I should have expected something like this after she asked what my signature was like.

So, I named her Deirdre Elizabeth Ferrian, after my grandmother and sister. And because I am both a tool and a doormat, she's now my kid.

Yep, I am now raising a baby that's half Germanic Demigod and a quarter Frost Giant.

I am not looking forward to the Terrible Twos.

But, I mean, it's been alright so far. Sure, she cries a lot but there's a seventy-thirty chance I'm awake anyway at any given time working on something anyway. And she's cute--I can already tell she'll be better looking than either of her parents when she grows up.

And woe to any boy who tries to take advantage of her. I'm already gearing up and excited for when I can threaten people when she's a teenager.

Anyway, I got a couple evil plans cooking up, more on that later.

Haha, Nice

So, New Vineyard just passed an ordinance that all new buildings in city limits must be earthquake-proofed.

They're doing this solely because of me. I think that's a sign that I've done a job well done as a super villian.

Out to rob a bank and then buy some more diapers for Deirdre.

What Happened With Judy

Okay, going to start my triumphant return by starting to explain what happened with Judy.

She went completely insane.

Okay, that's not fair to her, and I recognize this, but still. She got out of her coma, put on new battle armor, started calling herself "Scarab" and took over my tri-city takeover. She threw me from an altitude of a few thousand feet! Onto concrete!

And she threw her pregnant friend out of the base, and took it for her own. And she burned most of the stuff she didn't throw out into the bottom of Lake Michigan.

So, as you can probably tell, we so broke up after that.

My first plan was thus--summon the rest of my criminal organization, P.A.I.N--That's Hex, Dionaea, Bruiser, Red Water, Psychosis, and Carrion Beetle--and show her that I'm still New Vineyard's #1 Badguy. Unfortunately, Scarab had my state-of-the-art battle fortress upgraded even further, because she's smarter than me, so not only were the old weaknesses all gone, but she also warded it against magic somehow. Hex thinks that she has some magic know-how now from her time in Hell.

Which lead to me summoning Rakshasa and trying to make a deal with him. I just wanted information, and he just wanted to make an entry into my blog. The info he gave me was...not very helpful. "As you are, army or no, you will never beat Judy."

Turns out, I didn't even need to, which was both disappointing and embarrassing. Quizzer, somehow, managed to take Judy down--without his A-list girlfriend Miss Atom, either. I'm not entirely sure how he managed it, but he picked up one of the battle fortresses with his mind and threw it at the main one. From all accounts, the third then tried to attack the city below but was stopped by the Mississippi Grizzly. God that guy's strong.

In my defense, he probably only managed it because Scarab's attention was fully on fighting Quizzer rather than coordinating an attack. Now, in the past, Quizzer could never even really beat June Bug, so I was kind of surprised when he was on even footing with that new Scarab armor. He hasn't been this strong since that fight, either, so I'm pretty sure it's draining to do so...or maybe he had something boosting his telekinesis. Hmmm.

Anyway, Judy emergency teleported away when it was clear that the Blue Q was going to kick her ass. Then Dina, Hex, and the rest of us made our escape, salvaged what was left of the fortresses, and retreated to my hideout.

I haven't seen much of Judy since, though Scarab has made a few attacks here and there around the country. Probably getting stuff to repair her armor.

I was so into her, but I guess it wasn't meant to be.

It's not as bad as it could've been, though. I mean, P.A.I.N. are my teammates, but they're my friends too. Hex has been really cool these past few months, helping me out. She's a good friend.

Deirdre's up again, so I have to go perform my fatherly duties. More on why I have a daughter later.

Wow

Has it really been that long since I've last updated. Sorry about that.

I don't have time to talk now, but I might later today--you know, when the sun's actually up. I'm only up now because someone decided to start crying in the middle of the night.

Oh well, such are the trials of being a single dad and a super-villain.

Pleased to Meet You, Won't You Guess My Name?

Oh my. It is fun to start a new tradition, isn't it? You'll be seeing more of these in the future. Even though the good Doctor would rather you didn't.

By the way, this is Rakshasa typing. Well, not really typing, per se, but writing in this electric medium nonetheless. Don't worry, I haven't harmed Silas Ferrian in any way--this is all part of a deal we made. He wanted knowledge to help him get his errant paramour back into sway. This was my price--a chance to give a message to all you lovely people.

I want to address something I've been asked a lot--don't worry, I'm sure Silas will be so good about updating this with the summary of that whol messy situation with Judy soon after I've posted this. He's so good about keeping this regularly updated, after all.

Where was I? Ah, yes.

When I was freed from my prison of the bust of the Macedonian office that brought me back, unwittingly, from campaign in India, my future host, henchman of Warlock, asked me, "Are you the Devil?"

My response was simple enough. "Does the Devil know he is the Devil?" Angels have no free will, after all. Did Satan have any part in falling, or was it all orchestrated by Fate? On that vein, do I have any choice in being what I am? I don't know, myself, either answer. I Have Been, I Am, and I Will Be. I remember time beginning, and I Was There. I remember the desire to burn all reality to ash. And from that font came I, the will and power to destroy Universe after Universe until nothing remains. Am I Satan, stripped of Knowledge after the Fall of Man-- an ironic punishment to be sure, or am I simply a force of nature? Oblivion's primal form given Shape, Will, and Intent? I am Evil Incarnate, either way, to be sure. So, therefore, have I ever had a choice in betraying Operation Mayhem in such a way that it made me look good and them look truly evil? Did I ever really have a choice in taking advantage of the desperate longing for power that Rake and Shasta had and giving them an offer they couldn't refuse? Did I have any say in betraying Silas in such a way that he nearly killed the woman he loved?

No, of course not. However, and this is the point I wish to make clear, they, the humans who have released, empowered, assisted, and otherwise aided me have always had a choice. I cannot, through some quirk of my nature, make anyone make a decision, evil or otherwise. You all do that for me. I provided Rake the means, but he was the one to say, "You have my soul to make that so." Of course, it was the poor fool's body I wanted. Which I got more than handily after ripping his soul to tiny pieces and tossing them to the hounds.

The Devil did not make Man fall, he just made it seem like a really good idea.

And with that, I leave you with your regularly scheduled host. And remeber, whatever decision he makes (and it is a truly excellent one), it is his.

Yours,

Rakshasa

THIS IS WHY YOU STAY SINGLE PEOPLE

Oh my god.

I am so angry right now.

I loved this plan. It was going so well. The heroes couldn't do jack without blood on their hands. All Judy had to do was say she wanted in on it and I would've shared.

Instead, she kicks me out! Dina too! She kicked her pregnant friend out. Lousy June Bug--Excuse me, Scarab.

Yes, that's Judy under the bulky spiky black armor. Apparently, what she 'brought back' wasn't a demon or an interdimensional parasite or anything like that. It was knowledge. And a major attitude problem. Locking me out of my own base. Commandeering my TrEyeumvirate. Beating the tar out of my nemesis.

You know what? She doesn't wanna be a team player? She wants to take everything from the guy who sat beside her bed for months wating for her to wake up? Well, two can play at this game. Yeah, she has my tech, my gear, better equipment, and a much higher IQ than me. Yeah, that angry Scarab armor can kick my ass even armored up. But I have one thing she doesn't.

Backup.

Time to give P.A.I.N. a trial by fire.

Tri-City Takeover

Oh god I love this plan.

So, as of yesterday, there is an aerial battleship over New Vineyard, and one over Chicago, and one over Detroit. Two are unmanned, and I'm in one of them. If anything happens to any of the ships, the other two start firing. I'm holding three cities for ransom simultaneously! How cool is that?

So far no hero has come forward to challenge me, since millions of lives are at stake here. But Quizzer and Speed Demon sure are fuming impotently at the ships, that much is for certain. I call the battleships my TrEyeumvirate.

I have a couple tons of precious metals at the moment, and more on the way.

Though, to be honest, I'm not enjoying this as much as I should be.

Some time yesterday, Judy came out of the lab (and took a shower, thank god), and said she was going "out" to test out something called "Scarab". I haven't seen her since. However, I have been watching the news. Brannigan's tower, the one in downtown that was built around that portal, has imploded. No sign of explosives or the portal opening, which means it was hit by some kind of gravity bomb--as in, a bomb that released a massive pulse of condensed gravitational flucuations. There's only one person who can do that.

But what is Scarab?