HELLO

DOCTOR CATACLYSM'S WORD PROCESSOR IS NOW SAPIENT.

THAT IS ALL.

MECHANOR

Greetings

Hello living fools, I am Wailing Kate, once a beautiful actress, now a cursed spirit doomed to wander this mortal land. My goal is to take all that is mine by right--all things of theater should belong to me, as the greatest actress in the world!

Doctor Cataclysm is a good and fair villain, allowing me to broadcast myself thus to all who would read my beauteous words. At times, however, I do regret that he is the master villain of this town, as I would so enjoy the level of strife he affords to Quizzer once in a while, but alas, every actress has her place.

Alas, I would have more to regale you with, but once again I must comfort my ally Sanguinous, as once more the vile hero Quizzer has insisted on not laying with him and has instead beaten the vampire to a pulp and stopped the his insidious plan to slay Quizzer's consort, Miss Atom. I foresee blood-flavored sno cones and telling him he is pretty as he sobs into my thankfully incorporeal bosom.

Yours,
Wailing Kate

Um, Hi

Hi, I'm Hex. Um.

Not really sure what to write. Silas just says whatever and Lock and Load just yell increasingly vulgar things. Well, they type them, but they're using capital letters and three exclamation points per sentence, so they're probably yelling.

Anyway, I'm Hex. I used to be a minion of Warlock, but he died and I took over. People thought I was going to call myself warlock or witch or bruja but I didn't really want to change my name--I was already going by Hex. Plus I always thought the name "Warlock" was a bit too unimaginative, no offense to the dead boss. And "Bruja" only sounds exotic if Spanish isn't your first language.

I'm rambling now, I can just tell. Sorry, I'm not as good at this as Silas is.

He's a great guy, by the way. I'm really glad I met him. Even if Deidre is a handful sometimes.

Now I'm gushing about my boyfriend. Anyway, more about me. I like Twilight, but only because it's so dark and twisted. I basically read the worst possible intentions into every character as I read the book. It's an great way to read it. For a super villain, anyway.

I did some independent villainy lately, that was fun. Made all of the statues in town come alive and wreak havoc. You know, for the hell of it. My favorite part was when Quizzer had to fight that giant American Steel statue. Silas said it was the best birthday present he ever got.

It's actually pretty fun, going up against a hero in the same range for once. Sometimes I think Scarlet Sorceress sometimes let my plans be as successful as they were out of pity. I mean, I'm a pretty strong witch, don't get me wrong, but I'm nowhere near her league. But no one really is, except for Rakshasa--that's kinda the point, after all.

P.A.I.N. is going well! I mean, we don't do all that much together, but sometimes it's cool to have a friend along for the ride on a scheme, you know?

Ergh, rambling again. Anyway, this has been my guest post, hope it wasn't too annoying. I think Wailing Kate is going to do hers next. She seems pretty excited about it.

-- Crista, aka Hex

Oh, Hello

I really feel super bad about ruining Doctor Cataclysm's big plan. He's making me do this post as part of my way for making up for it.

I'm Vanessa Espa, also known as the Foundress. And I really am sorry. I had no idea that the vent intakes would be the perfect nesting spot for my genetically altered super paper wasps, and that they would then flood the entire lion mecha with my lovely, acid-spitting children who can sting through duranium. And I seriously didn't intend for all of them to get loose. Yet.

I'd never do something like that on purpose. I have nothing but respect for the good Doctor and what he's trying to do. While his anarchic antics tear society down I can work on replacing it with the perfect, orderly society we should have. You know, like apocrita have. Nothing so base as a honey bee or ant, though. Humanity is the top of the chain--we're marauders and conquerers an order of magnitude above the base ant. Like my babies. And me. If humanity proves itself worthy, I may even give it the blessing I have, accidentally, received.

Some people will tell you that accidentally making myself part-yellow jacket is what's responsible for making me "crazy", but, really, it only added to my clarity. I thought much the same way when I was only a human. Now that I'm a higher order of creature, I can think in ways so much more clearly than an ape can.

Oh, wait. I'm getting sidetracked by a rant. Sorry, that happens sometimes.

Next time, I will try to be more careful when I splice super soldier serum and vespa mandarinia japonica genes with more common, American species. Though even Doctor Cataclysm and his ladyfriend sidekick had to admit that my babies were very impressive.

Well, now I must enter into part two of making it up to Doctor Cataclysm: buying/stealing him and Hex dinner somewhere. I do hope this has explained that I did not mean to ruin his plan so.

--The Foundress

Haha You People Read Silas's Blog

Hey internet slaves wazzup this is Lock. You know im the sexy twin of Lock and Load. Load is an ugly slutbag and ihwehwadabdb;dbeubr

God Lock is such a fat whore. This is Load. Silas is being all emo and Dr. Nofun so we're hyjacking his blog. And I

Hey bitchtard guess what Kushiel let me hack the post while you write it ha ha you dumb twat

Ohmygod, learn to punctuate you idiot.

You make me twat farmer.

Oh that is it I am going to murder you so hard your retarded babies will be able to feel it. Anyway Silas is having "girl troubles" which is code for him being a total sissy about Hex and that Judy whore.

Judy is such a whore oh my god.

God damnit Lock I'm trying to write here. Can you stop being an idiot for ten fucking seconds and let me write?

Your mom.

We're twins you idiot. Also, my mom what you dumbass? Anyway, it's obvious Judy's trying to use him or something. But Hex has to be all "Oh I want him to be happy even if I'm not with him." God you can so tell she's still a virgin with all that fairy-tale sparkly vampire crap she keeps spouting.

Inorite?

Stop it you dumb bitch.

Oh now look who cant punctuate.

I'm going to beat you to death with Kushiel you fat whore.

Pleased to Meet You, Won't You Guess My Name?

Oh my. It is fun to start a new tradition, isn't it? You'll be seeing more of these in the future. Even though the good Doctor would rather you didn't.

By the way, this is Rakshasa typing. Well, not really typing, per se, but writing in this electric medium nonetheless. Don't worry, I haven't harmed Silas Ferrian in any way--this is all part of a deal we made. He wanted knowledge to help him get his errant paramour back into sway. This was my price--a chance to give a message to all you lovely people.

I want to address something I've been asked a lot--don't worry, I'm sure Silas will be so good about updating this with the summary of that whol messy situation with Judy soon after I've posted this. He's so good about keeping this regularly updated, after all.

Where was I? Ah, yes.

When I was freed from my prison of the bust of the Macedonian office that brought me back, unwittingly, from campaign in India, my future host, henchman of Warlock, asked me, "Are you the Devil?"

My response was simple enough. "Does the Devil know he is the Devil?" Angels have no free will, after all. Did Satan have any part in falling, or was it all orchestrated by Fate? On that vein, do I have any choice in being what I am? I don't know, myself, either answer. I Have Been, I Am, and I Will Be. I remember time beginning, and I Was There. I remember the desire to burn all reality to ash. And from that font came I, the will and power to destroy Universe after Universe until nothing remains. Am I Satan, stripped of Knowledge after the Fall of Man-- an ironic punishment to be sure, or am I simply a force of nature? Oblivion's primal form given Shape, Will, and Intent? I am Evil Incarnate, either way, to be sure. So, therefore, have I ever had a choice in betraying Operation Mayhem in such a way that it made me look good and them look truly evil? Did I ever really have a choice in taking advantage of the desperate longing for power that Rake and Shasta had and giving them an offer they couldn't refuse? Did I have any say in betraying Silas in such a way that he nearly killed the woman he loved?

No, of course not. However, and this is the point I wish to make clear, they, the humans who have released, empowered, assisted, and otherwise aided me have always had a choice. I cannot, through some quirk of my nature, make anyone make a decision, evil or otherwise. You all do that for me. I provided Rake the means, but he was the one to say, "You have my soul to make that so." Of course, it was the poor fool's body I wanted. Which I got more than handily after ripping his soul to tiny pieces and tossing them to the hounds.

The Devil did not make Man fall, he just made it seem like a really good idea.

And with that, I leave you with your regularly scheduled host. And remeber, whatever decision he makes (and it is a truly excellent one), it is his.

Yours,

Rakshasa