Working Hard

Making a new base is harder than I remember it being.

Still, it's going well. As cool as the old base was, I'm loving how this is turning out. The old place had some problems, what with being originally designed to be a temporary workstation.

Also, I'll be able to get internet too, which is awesome.

Today, however, I mostly rested, watched tv, and played Hypno Bubble. I'm going to need the rest, too, because tomorrow I start Deirdre-proofing the place. That's going to be a bitch. It's bad enough my lair has to be toddler-proofed, but this kid is part god. You'd think that'd make it easier, but trying to prevent a kid from choking on small objects is pretty hard when she can crush larger objects into asphyxiation-sized chunks with her bare hands.

In other news, Judy keeps trying to contact me. She still says she had our kid, presumably cloned by mixing my cells and her cells. Though, I know I came to this conclusion myself, but the more I think about it the more it bothers me. Judy's a physicist and an engineer. As far as I know, she's got no experience with cloning tech. But I've seen pictures and, well, there's family resemblance, iincluding the telltale flame red hair. I'm not sure what to do. If I ignore the kid...even though I didn't have any part in making her, does that make me a deadbeat?

Also, my god Sinapse is annoying. I mean, I thought that vampire, Sanguinous, was the most annoying of Quizzer's enemies but, nope. It's like he read a book on how to be the most stereotypical megalomaniac he can be. He's treacherous, he's conceited, he's greedy, and, worst of all, his goal is to, of course, take over the world.

Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with villains that want to conquer to the world, but it's just not a realistic goal. Not for one person, not even for one country. When you get right down to it, the planet's too big and it has too many people on it.

Also, I've always thought telepathy/mind control was a creepy power, especially in the hands of a villain. I mean...think about it.

Oh well, now I'm ranting. Back to hypno-bubble.

Time to Turn Things Around

This year is the turning point. I'm going to write more, and I'm going to do more stuff. Like villain stuff.

Villain stuff. It's phrases like that that prove I'm a professional.

Why this sudden exclamation? Life's pretty good right now, honestly. Sure, my godly infant has become a godly toddler, but seeing her still makes me smile. Hex is still awesome to date and it's going really well. I haven't had any major schemes in a while, but I'm going to change that. Can't have Scarab and Sinapse muscling me out of my position as New Vineyard's main villain, after all.

I know just the thing to get me started off. An oldy but a goody, you might say. If you were, you know, incredibly lame.

Time to take the city by storm. Not literally, though. No more weather control for me. At least not right now.

I feel good about this year.

Things I Hate, Volume Whatever

First things first--I need to write this more and you, my adoring fans, need me to write this more. So starting, um, today, I guess, I'm going to try to update at least three times a week--at least once on Monday, once Wednesday, and once on Friday. Hopefully, I'll post more often than this.

I bet this lasts one whole week before I get distracted by something shiny.

Anyway, things I hate, in no particular order.

One, while I love Hex a lot, I hate that now I know so much more about Twilight than I ever wanted to know. God damnit Hex.

Two, I love Deirdre so much I've nearly forgiven Dina and Visigoth for abandoning her for me to raise. However, I hate how she just seems to know whenever I'm busy, or just sitting down to sleep, or about to have sex with my girlfriend, and decides right then that she's going to scream and wail about something. And she's part demigod and part frost giant, so she's got...volume.

Three, I hate it when my brother comes by asking for money, like he did last week. Come on, CJ. You have a steady job as a super-soldier for hire with no morals, you don't need my money. I have death machines to make. If only he was addicted to the cheap drugs and not super soldier serum.

Four, I hate "Lord" Grim.

Five, I really hate "Lord" Grim because apparently Op Mayhem is actually considering him for membership. I hope it's just a smokescreen for Viridian Fang to eat the racist homophobe. Not that I want in Op Mayhem anyway, but it's the principle of the matter.

Six, I hate Sinapse. Because he's so smug. He still calls himself Quizzer's arch nemesis! Can you believe it? yeah, sure, he may have been his nemesis when they were both in college, but it's the big leagues now, and he just doesn't measure up. I just wish he'd stop trying to muscle me out of my rightful place.

Seven, I hate henchmen. I thought I'd try them out because I had some extra space and a couple extra guys working for me could seriously improve my success ratio. Nope. They bumble even more than I used to! And the worst part is, I can't fire them. Stupid unionized henchmen. Seriously, I fire these guys, then they show up outside my base tomorrow with a handful of doomsday weapons and demand severance pay. I might have to kill them. But I really don't want to do that--they are performing a service, even if they are terrible at it. Maybe I should try to get Eliza to come over for a few days, thin their numbers a bit.

I mean, the big shots don't have this problem. Lady Anaconda's henchmen are all in families of servants that have been the loyal retainers of her family for generations. Tallow just makes minions out of that wax she's made out of. Viridian Fang commands predatory animals and stuff--predatory animals don't tend to unionize. Except for Manwolf. And Death's Head just uses his psychic powers to mental dominate whoever he wants to work for him. Devias used to own a country, so he got his henchmen there. The old Doc managed to have a small group of (now dead), dedicated henchmen. Maybe I need to make some robot henchmen. Use tech I "borrowed" from Lock, Load, and Mechanor.

Eight, I hate when Quizzer's girlfriend comes to town. How did a nerd--albeit an unusually fit, handsome nerd-- like him get to marry Miss Atom, the all-american heroine? He's bad enough--she's on a pretty high power level herself.

Oh well. At least he's not dating the Scarlet Sorceress, or Union Jack.

Another Day, Another WMD

I have created the Lava Gun! It's pretty inspired, if I do say so myself. Basically, point it at the ground and a big gout of lava will shoot out of it. Or is it magma then? I can never remember which is which.

Anyway, things have been pretty good. Hex continues to be my awesome girlfriend. Deirdre continues to eat me out of house and home. When did baby things get so expensive, anyway? Oh well, not like I'm paying for them.

Quizzer continues to foil both my evil plans and the plans of his Rogue's Gallery. Or is that Rogues Gallery? Or Rogues' Gallery? English is so confusing sometimes.

Oh well! I'm a super villain and if I know the internet, then a single grammatical error will cause much more strife than looking it up and writing it correctly.

Anyway, things are going mostly well. Except for Sinapse (you won't believe the emails I got when I misspelled this guy's misspelled name. Oh the Irony). Who keeps insisting he is, in fact, Quizzer's arch nemesis. Did the Extradimensional Bastard kidnap him and Quizzer to decide the ultimate superiority of good/evil? No, that was me.

Something tells me I'm gonna need to put this guy in his place. Maybe I should make some kind of anti-telepathy helmet. Or maybe a collar or headband or something. I don't want to directly rip off Magneto. Besides, following plans taken from comic books almost never works.