P.A.N.I.C. If You Know What's Good For You, Part 3

Okay okay okay. It's time to finish this. Sorry. Some things have come up.

Very, very interesting things that I'll talk about tomorrow, or maybe after I've finished this (finally).

So, total tally of the manpower we had--assorted second-rate heroes and villains, more third rate heroes and villains, and one of the heavy hitter, all-powerful heroes that was drained of the lion's share of her power, and getting weaker all the time. It was clear we had to act fast, before Double S was drained completely, and it was going to be paramount that we get her book back.

Hex had the reasonably good idea of what little magic type people we had channeling their powers into Scarlet Sorceress. I like Hex--she thinks of things like that. Not every villain there was a complete idiot. I'm glad she's one of the people trying to start the current craziness.

Bah, anyway, plan was simple--our magic type people boost her, the rest keep the demon hordes busy, and help out as we can. In other words, we were going to be on the sidelines during the real fight. A lot of people--mostly heroes, but some villains, didn't really care for this. They seemed to think this was their chance to make a difference, and here they were sitting on the bench during the big fight.

As someone who had personally faced off against Rakshasa's demons, I assured them that we'd be seeing plenty of chances to make a difference.

Chances to make a difference. Yes, I said that. It still makes me feel dirty. I mean, yeah, Rakshasa taking over the world, major league bad thing for everyone except Rakshasa. But my primary motivation in this was not to save the world. It was revenge, pure and simple.

We traveled quickly to D.C., and on the way we picked up a couple more heroes, including Agent Spider, who was looking rather displeased that all this had managed to elude him. When I told Jack Knife that a few weeks ago, he couldn't stop laughing.

We got all the villains we were going to get. Many of those had also, at some point in the past, been betrayed by or had a grudge against Rakshasa. Hex, for instance, used to be a henchman for Warlock. Fun fact--Rakshasa's first body in recent times, it turns out, was a henchman for Warlock. Rakshasa knocked him from an A-list villain to a B- or C-lister before finally killing Warlock about ten years ago.

The new feeds, the videos, from those crazy bastards who decided to sneak into D.C. with a camera when they heard a big fight was going to happen, didn't cover half of how disturbing it was. D.C. is still a class three magical disaster zone. There wasn't an official reading before the fight, but the number scale wouldn't have given it justice.

Hell on Earth was more accurate. The buildings looked like they had tumors. The trees were lashing out at us and I'm positive they had teeth. Dionaea had a really tough time there. She told us "everything was screaming".

I'm sure everyone's seen the picture by now of the White House with that big brambly mouth tree-thing growing out of it, of the throne in the center of it, and of Rakshasa sitting there, Scarlet Sorceress's book in his lap. The clearest picture was taken from my mask's camera.

"Oh, I'm sorry. The Lincoln Bedroom is under renovations." Rakshasa said as he flew forward, the book falling away and hanging from his belt by a chain. "I'm afraid you'll have to rest out here in stead."

Demons started pouring from the woodwork, including one hideous giant, big, lumbering, teeth too big for its mouth, and when it roared its head almost folded in half.

"I'm afraid I'm busy with matters of foreign policy." Rakshasa said with a feral grin. "My vice president, Mr. Shasta, will be more than happy to accommodate you."

"Quizzer?"
"Cataclysm?"
Simultaneous--"You take the big guy."

That fight was not a fun one. Quizzer and I versus the mutated demonic vice president. He was stronger than hell, and way faster than he should have been. I know most press was watching Scarlet Sorceress fight Rakshasa at the time, so no one quite knew what happened in that last fight. Well, we weren't doing so well--Quizzer was pelting him with masonry, I was hitting him with force blasts, plasma fire, but no good. We both got smacked through priceless pieces of our nation's history on more than one occasion, and his claws sliced almost straight through my Duranium armor like it was nothing.

It was my brilliance that saved us. I'm so proud of this. I re-wired my emergency teleporter while Quizzer kept Shasta busy. Then I overloaded it to teleport Shasta into the air above the Washington Monument. And remember, my teleporter isn't designed for normal living people to use it. It couldn't absorb or bleed off any of the energy that was put through his system, so that messed him up pretty bad. And then Quizzer used his powers to pull the demon down faster than he'd normally fall. That was a mess, but hey, I managed to impale the demonic vice president with the Washington Monument. Go me.

Of course, my main power source kind of overloaded then. God that stung. I liked that armor, too. New stuff's coming along alright, though.

Back on topic. We downed Shasta-monster. We were feeling pretty good about ourselves, even though I had to eject my armor. Then we saw the Scarlet Sorceress, Hex, and the rest of the magic-users collapse.

"Oh, it seems I forgot to mention something. I've found a way to siphon power from the book, Sorceress. No only are my soldiers destroying this world, but I have also made myself the magical focus for the entire planet." Rakshasa said, eyes opening up all over him, and his body going amophous for just a moment before he suddenly looked exactly like the Scarlet Sorceress. "My own bane is now my source of power. Really, this was an impressive show of force, but all in vain. I am now a god."

This was cut a bit short when a green, glowing "whip" of energy went around Rakshasa's "neck" and, before he could do anything about it, flung him into and through an exterior wall of what was left of the White House.

And behind him were Lady Anaconda, Death's Head, and their nemeses, Conflagration and Knight Watch.

And I'm sorry, but wow. Lady Anaconda. Woah. Granted, that skimpy green dress doesn't put much to the imagination on purpose, but damn.

Rakshasa didn't stay down for long, though. He was out of the wreckage in his normal form almost immediately after that, tentacles whipping and writhing behind him.

"Oh, a reunion. I hate reunions. Especially old pawns come back to play, drunk on their own self-importance." Rakshasa growled. "But at least you two save me the trouble of tracking you down and killing you myself."

Okay. He's my arch-nemesis, yeah. He dresses goofy, and has a lame name. But Quizzer is the man. He's...it's hard for me to write this, but Quizzer is definitely good. We wouldn't have won, or not won so easy, without him.

Because while Rakshasa was fuming at Lady Anaconda, Quizzer was using his telekinesis to unhook Scarlet Sorceress's book and float it back to her. An eye opened up on his side at a moment too late for Rakshasa to notice in time.

He made the standard villain cry of "NOOOOOOOO!" Then Double S grabbed her book and look ten years younger and a whole lot more energetic. Then Rakshasa melted away into a mass of eyes and tentacles the size of the White House and the real battle started.

I spent most of the fight on the sidelines blasting him. I'll be the first to admit it. Quizzer and I and most of P.A.N.I.C. weren't the main focus of this fight--that was for Scarlet, Anaconda, DH, Con, and KW. But still, I had my moments, like when I opened up a crack in the ground beneath it and caused it to completely miss with an energy blast from its eyes.

We sent him back to Hell. All of us. And there were a lot lost on both sides that day, hero and villain. Mostly the idiots. But still, they gave their lives to save the world. Or at least the US, though I'm pretty sure, with as many open portals as he had, Rakshasa would have been able to take the whole globe. He pretty much had all of north and central America before we stopped him.

With enough of a beating, and a banishing spell, though, his reign of terror was over. Rakshasa gave up the battered and broken body of Jonathan Rake before he fell through the portal back to the demon world, screaming out plans for revenge on all of us all the while. Many of his demons were pulled with him, including some of those funky trees--not the one ganshing at us from the White House, though. Dionaea and Mandragora handled that bastard on their own after things started to wind down.

After that, we wanted to have a big party, but things needed to be put in order first. Clearing out the remaining demons, closing the portals, fixing D.C. We all were supposed to get pardons, but I gave mine to Judy. So she'll be safe in the hospital without having to worry about her waking up and getting carted to jail or St. Toluca's.

And then we did have a big party. Huge, in fact. It was a great time.

And then I came back home to New Vineyard.

Beating Rakshasa didn't save Judy. She's still in a coma. My armor was sundered. My arch-nemesis is hero of the hour.

The world is safe. I had my revenge.

So why does it feel like nothing's really changed?